3 months ago by

As of this December, Tyler and I will have attended thirty weddings together. Yes, this dyslexic is the queen of typos but that is not one of them. THIRTY. DAMN. WEDDINGS.

That doesn’t even tap into the weddings we attended solo before we became a duo six (almost seven!!) years ago.

I’m not going to lie, thirty weddings takes its toll.

First, financially. Savings is not a word in my lexicon at this moment. Maybe one day. But not now. I am much better acquainted with the words credit card and interest rate.

Vacation. Another word I’m not that familiar with. People tell me a wedding is like a vacation. I disagree with this for a few reasons…

1) You get to choose the destination of a vacation. And said destination is not a small town in the middle of nowhere that the bride visited every summer growing up and insists it is the most magical place in the world and you will love it. Really? You know what I love? Aruba.

2) There is no family drama on vacation. Okay sometimes there is, depending on the vacation. But it’s your own family drama that you are well versed in and equipped to handle.

3) There are no deadlines on vacation. A wedding is essentially one big deadline broken up into smaller deadlines to try and pretend it’s not a deadline at all.

First, the rehearsal dinner. Which includes the first round of food you don’t get to choose and speeches you can’t tune out.

Then the 8am wake-up call so you can get your hair and make up done in a room of 12 other women and too much champagne and not enough coffee.

Then the pictures. So. Many. Pictures. You will not look good in any of them because there are just too many of them and after the first three, your smile will be strained for the rest.

Then the ceremony. (Okay, that’s the biggest deadline but you’re still not done with the deadlines…)

Then the second round of food you either did not choose, or you had a choice between two (maybe three) options. Then the conga line that Aunt Milly pulls you into.

If you wanted to sleep in before drudging back to the airport, too bad. There’s a going away breakfast you must, must attend and eat some room temperature eggs and dry toast. (But, in the back of your credit card riddled mind you see this as one more free meal you can squeeze out of the weekend so you oblige, but barely.)

But despite all my bitching and struggling, you know why I keep showing up to these weddings?

Because to love something that death can touch is the bravest thing we can do as humans.

To commit your life and a large portion of your happiness to a single person who is only mortal is an insane thing we do on a regular basis.

So, I show up. I show up to honor that gamble and leap of faith (even if it’s accompanied by dry chicken and cheap wine).

This month on the site we’re going to be honoring those relationships in our lives, the ones we take a gamble one, the ones we show up for. The ones that bring the most joy, and sometimes, the most pain. And we’re not just going to be talking about romantic relationships, the ones the state deems “official” with paperwork and a white dress. We’re going to talk about everything from lovers and family, to work wives (and work husbands), best friends, and the barista who makes our coffee each morning. We’re even going to talk about our own boobs (!!).

Ultimately we’re going to talk about what makes us fallible humans — we’re going to talk about love. And the people we place our trust in, the relationships that get us through all the rest of life’s bullshit with our smiles intact.

17 comments

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  • So funny and witty, I love your writing!!

  • Coline Assade October, 1 2018, 11:35 / Reply

    I can’t wait!!

  • Gabriela October, 1 2018, 12:07 / Reply

    I can’t wait. You are so talented.

  • Speaking of messy, beautiful, awe-inspiring, anxiety-inducing, giggly and blissful and and cuddly and intimate and OMG WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONE SECOND relationships… you might want to include the relationship we have with our children, too.

  • Veronica October, 1 2018, 1:41

    HA. thank you for this reminder, Jessica. And your description (from what I hear from my friends who are moms) is spot on. xxV

  • Thank you for doing this, I can’t wait to read more !

  • jean thierry cha October, 2 2018, 6:53 / Reply

    so.beautiful… luv you,veronica..

  • Love it! Looking forward to the rest of this series.

    BTW, I love the yellow velvet sofa in your studio. Where is it from? xo

  • Linne Halpern October, 2 2018, 12:51

    Thank you so much, Helena! Our yellow sofa is from Anthropologie :) xx

  • Linne Halpern October, 3 2018, 3:52

    Helena! I was wrong, our yellow sofa is actually from Anthropologie! I just updated my reply to you, but wanted to make sure you saw it! Sorry about that! It is truly THE best couch :) xx

  • Love the topics each month and especially this one!

  • Hi! Enjoyed reading this. Look forward to more content this month. Just wondering when you will be releasing a new podcast? I really enjoyed listen to them. Thanks!

  • Linne Halpern October, 8 2018, 9:49

    Hi Adriana,
    Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m happy to inform that the podcast will be back next week! Check back for it!
    xx, Linne

  • Hi girls!
    I loved your post! How do you plan to go about treating the subject of relationships?
    Would you like contributions from your audience, or do you plan to share your experiences?
    Talking about relationships is so intriguing!
    I have a teenage daughter and I keep having fights about the length of the blouse, the shorts, the nails… About make-up; how much is too much?
    About the time spent on Instagram… instead of books!
    And there is the husband. Who managed to ruin the loving relationship not because he went through depression, but because he never asked about my side of things. Not during the dark period. After.
    What about the relationship with ourselves? What do you think girls?
    I’d love to read what you write next.
    All the best
    Eve

  • What a topic! Love it! And, yes, include children— young ones, and those all grown up.

  • I couldn’t agree with you more about weddings; they are a combination of special and just a little agonising. And if you’re single, you can triple the discomfort and feelings of inadequacy. All that said, 99% of the weddings I have been to have been special. My one tip – find an ‘escape’ route and whatever you do, you don’t want to be stuck in the middle of nowhere with no transport and discovering the next train/bus leaves two days later and the only taxi in town is on strike…

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