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Totally InStyle

3 weeks ago by

Totally InStyle

This summer was basically the summer of revelations!

When InStyle contacted me a few months ago to write an article about my “New LA Style,” it didn’t really seem like a topic I was super excited to talk about at the time.

Instead, I decided to explain the somewhat difficult (and more interesting) path that led me to stop going to fashion shows.

So I guess this is the summer where I tell you all about my difficulties.

Those of you who have been following me for a long time know that I’ve always taken the whole fashion show circuit with a grain of salt. But after identifying with that world on such a deep level (“Bloggers are in the first row at the shows!!!” what was that, like 5 or 6 years ago?) I had a hard time keeping my distance and chill attitude. It started taking up way too much space in my head, in fact.

So I thought it would be good to talk about that in a magazine that glorifies glam. Which we’ve done occasionally here too (but not too much, I hope – just the right amount, because a little glam and front row can be fun too sometimes)…

And since Laura Brown, the editor-in-chief is amazing, she liked the idea right away.

So that’s why I’m sending you to InStyle to read the article today. I’m really curious to see what you think, and whether those of you who have followed me for years felt the shift. I think you probably did, because I’ve never really tried to hide it. But maybe not, because it’s true I sometimes have a tendency to sweep my feelings under three sequins and a big laugh.

I’ll be here to read and respond to your comments, so don’t hold back! Big kisses!

Translated by Andrea Perdue

27 comments

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  • Perfect. It’s so you. I don’t know if we ever really “fit in” in our own minds, but we do with our friends and that is what matters. The people around us get us. I think it is why you blog and all that you touch is so succsessful. You are geniune in a world that has become so distorted.

    Keep being who you are Garance, no one else can.

    Therese

  • How are you so amazing? I love your blog and I admire you since I came here about 6 years ago (I was 16). Thank you for writing and share your thoughts and feelings. You truly are an inspiration <3

  • Dear Garance,

    Thank you so much for sharing your individual story both here and in the Lenny Letter. I found it very moving. It’s interesting how we’re always learning to be true to ourselves, and sometimes the lessons that are the hardest transform us in the most positive ways.

    I’m still on the infertility journey and trying so very hard not to let it take over my life, but those hormones are so powerful! It all started when I got pregnant, accidentally, less than a year after I’d started dating my now fiance. I was in my early 40s, and as a late bloomer, had already given up on the hope of having children and was mostly at peace with that. When I got pregnant, we realized we both really wanted to have a child together. I miscarried just a few weeks later, and the same thing happened again the following year.

    Sooo we decided to go the IVF route and after assessing my eggs, our doctor advised going straight to egg donation, which we did, using all of our savings. I had high hopes that with donated eggs, everything would go well. It didn’t. But it did nearly take over our life, as you experienced: so many doctor’s appointments, procedures, and blood tests. It was emotionally and physically exhausting beyond anything I expected. My mom passed away about a month after my second unsuccessful round of IVF, where I had a positive pregnancy test, but the embryo didn’t develop.

    After a break of almost a year mourning my mom, recovering from all of the stress of IVF, and reconnecting and enjoying life with my guy, we are about to start our third round of IVF. In fact, a nurse called just as I was writing this to schedule a saline ultrasound.

    I don’t know when or how this journey will end, but it really helps to know other people are going through it too.

    Thank you, Garance!

  • ma très chère Garance,

    ton article est venu au moment exact où je l’avais besoin. je venais d’écrire un long e-mail à une chère amie racontant ma trajectoire de vie: j’ai 38 ans, je suis brésilienne, j’ai vécu en Angleterre et en France, j’ai fait les types de travail les plus variés, mais je n’ai jamais trouvé quelque chose qui m’a vraiment remplissez et qui a fait briller mes yeux. je me suis toujours senti comme une outsider, partout où je suis allée.

    mais je continue ma recherche, pour la passion, pour la paix dans le cœur, et je sais que, comme toi, je les trouverai. peut-être que je devrais vivre ma vie comme ça: free style, free spirit.

    merci pour tes histoires toujours si inspirantes.

    bisous

    Ana

  • Benedicte August, 29 2017, 4:15 / Reply

    J’ai eu l’occasion d’assister à quelques défilés et j’avais apprécié mais c’était en dilettante et avant le “fashion circus” (les grandes années des japonais, Mugler, Gaultier, Montana, etc…), mais comme toi, je me sentais tellement “pas à ma place” ! Je suis le blog depuis les débuts et on dirait que la vraie Garance est de retour (ok c’est stupide de dire çà). Je trouve ton parcours et ta réussite professionnelle génial (géniaux ?), mais je regrette le coté personnel (voire artisanal) du blog et je me suis un peu éloignée du site. Je suis heureuse pour toi car on a l’impression que tu as désormais trouvé le chemin qui te convient. Plein de bonheur Garance !

  • Non seulement j’ai lu l’article dans In Style, mais j’ai aussi lu, avec retard, la Lenny letter et je constate le chemin parcouru, ce chemin seme d’embuches, de tentations, de poudre aux yeux, mais a travers tout ce glamour, vous etes restee, chere Garance, true to yourself et c’est pour cela que nous vous apprecions autant, nous, vos readers.
    Je vous souhaite une belle vie ! :-)

  • Fabienne August, 29 2017, 4:59 / Reply

    Bonjour Garance, je vous suis depuis 8 ans à peu près. Le blog je l’ai vu évolué. Vous, je vous ai vu grandir, mûrir, votre regard sur la vie devenant plus profond moins éparse. Tout cela, vos 40 ans arrivant.
    Je suis désolée de vous rappeler à votre rupture avec M.Schuman, mais j’ai à l’esprit une photo de vous en jean, chemise et mocassins Tods, accompagnée de Madame Viviane Volpicella. Ma réaction fut de me dire : tout change, les vêtements aussi. Cette photo de vous, habillée tout simplement, m’a marquée car elle vous révélait telle que je vous avais toujours sentie : simple, émotive et solaire en même temps. Voilà Garance. Peut-être je me trompe mais voilà mon ressenti sur cette photo-frontière comme je la nomme. Tous mes vœux de sérénité et bonheur vous accompagnent.

  • Your great partner Emily made the best decision for you by putting you to bed before the Chloe show, she is invaluable!!! Bisous Garance

  • Why do we trap ourselves into doing things or staying in situations, especially in our careers, that we know aren’t good for us? I wish we all had an Emily to tell it to us straight.

  • Dear Garance,
    Thank you for all you share which helps me and so many others. Bravo to you for taking the time to process all the experiences and changes you’ve gone through. It’s difficult when things don’t happen the way we expected or hoped and takes time to look at it in a different light and find peace with it. I’ve been reading your blog for five years and can feel the changes you’ve gone through. During that time I also went through many changes and am now so much more aware of listening to my gut instinct and not forcing things that don’t feel right. There are things I enjoyed five years ago that don’t appeal to me so much now, so I make sure to do what I really enjoy now and accept that in five more years that may be different too. And how freeing and wonderful that is! It’s lovely to read your words again. And your latest illustration ( which is one reason I love your blog) is so beautiful and fresh. I look forward to seeing more.
    Thank you!
    Susan

  • I always dreamt of being front row at fashion week, and whilst living in London earlier this year, had the opportunity to ‘stand’ back row at a couple of B-grade shows. What a mad, circus experience experience it was; girls and guys in crazy ‘look at me’ outfits eager for a photographers attention to spot them in line, single them out and have them pose for that ‘street style’ shot. The energy was quite toxic as it felt like everyone was there for themselves, strutting around like peacocks waiting to be noticed, rather than being there for the designer who was presenting their collection. What an eye-opener experience, and I assume even more amplified at the A-grade shows of Chanel, Dior, Chloé etc. My dream of attending front row fashion week has certainly been tainted after this experience.

    Ali xox
    alipeat.com

  • Garance, thank you so much for sharing. I feel you and you have made the right calll. When you feel like fish out of water, get yourself out of there. Style and fashion do not come from fashion show. I do miss your street photography and your unique sense. Love, Lydia

  • As a long time reader, I have noticed several shifts in your career and blog over the years. To be honest, I’ve never had any understanding of how the business side of your blog really works. I’m so far removed from the “creative” industry that I’m sure I have no clue how much…say…that VINCE ad generates in revenue for your company to pay your staff, your office rent, etc. As I contemplate a shift in my own career (government – so different than your work!), I can still appreciate the risk and anxiety and yet all the conviction and confidence it takes to plunge ahead and grow and move in a new direction.

  • Laetitita August, 30 2017, 3:04 / Reply

    C’est drôle, je suis allée deux fois à des défilés parce qu’une amie travaillait pour une belle maison. Je me rappelle m’être sentie petite, pas dans mon élément alors que pourtant j’avais une vraie passion pour la mode.
    C’était en 2008 je crois, j’étais étudiante en littérature donc rien à voir. Mais je te suivais déjà ( depuis les deux blogs en fait ). Bref.
    2008, donc. Défilé Céline. Je me rappelle t’avoir rencontrée à la fin du show. Je t’ai sautée dessus, trop contente de te parler et de voir une tête souriante.
    J’étais accompagnée d’autres personnes qui visiblement se sentaient mal à l’aise mais ne le montraient pas. L’air ultra-condescendant et tout en persiflage.
    Ca m’a dégoûté.
    Bref, c’etait il y a longtemps. Le street style n’en était qu’à ses débuts alors j’imagine que maintenant ça doit être pire.
    Mais ça reste un bon souvenir dans le sens où je sais que je suis attirée par les paillettes mais il suffit que je repense à ce moment-là pour que ça me fasse redescendre tout de suite ! Et je repense aussi à ta gentillesse qui m’avait fait chaud au cœur à ce moment-là !
    Au fait, c’est bon de te lire à nouveau !

  • Primrose Bigwood August, 30 2017, 4:31 / Reply

    Amazing, amazing, amazing – always an inspiration and always incredible reads! x

    http://www.stylepetal.co.uk

  • Lovely article, Garance. I am just starting out in a very competitive field, and also when through a phase of wondering if I even liked it any more, before realizing it was really all the attendant stress and worry that was making me not “like” my field. Realizing that forced me to rethink how I envision my future and what I want my position in my field to be. I am glad to know that I am not alone in going through this particular malaise!

  • Dear Garance,

    it has been a while since I thought about sending you some well deserverd congrats and words of gratefulness for this successful change which has been officialized by the switch from the Garance Doré blog to the Atelier Doré website.

    I have been following you since 2012. Back then I lived in Paris and maybe that’s why I enjoyed reading about this entire fashion circus. After a while though it got boring. Always the same people and how could it be that the wanna-be someone bloggers and influencers mattered more than the designer’s collections. Something somewhere went terribly wrong.
    A little bit of “Je ne savais plus où j’habite quand j’ai vu la photo de toi sur le tapis rouge au festival de Cannes”. So checking your blog became less regular and with time the blog no longer was in the top 3 of my favorite’s tool bar.

    I stopped by from time to time and noticed the change, starting with your haircut, thoughts on love and your new relationship, which reflected the simple woman who has doubts and questions herself and her choices. In the meantime, fashion remained part of the blog but no longer dominated. So refreshing; especially the more simple style and the promotion of brands that have real values and do not harm our body in and outside.

    Bref, tout ca pour dire: bravo, Mariline Fiori.
    A rolemodel when it comes to “rebranding” on a professional level when your blog is your daily bread and you no longer are who you used to be or thought you were or have to be.

  • It’s so amazing how honestly you share things about your life. I would say that I know exactly how you feel but how could I, right? :) We never really know.

    I started my own blog because I love writing and I was just so in awe about your blog (and life… :)).
    I think I started to read your blog in about 2013… I started my own blog in December 2015 and I did it the way I imagined would be right. The way I wanted to express myself and the way I thought nobody else did. (Well, I still kind of wanted to do it the way you did… :).

    But I never gained enough readers! Nobody really seemed to care (I did get to personal letters from two people – it was really touching). Or maybe I gave up too early… I didn’t just want to desperately promote my blog. I wanted to write. But it was so sad to put myself into my stories, to write and re-write and publish my pieces…. and not to receive any feedback.

    I kept going, running into different directions. Writing about different things, maybe getting lost. Maybe trying too much to be mainstream.

    I never wanted to be a public person and talk about my personal life. I just wanted my writing to mean something. I wanted to tell stories. I wanted my blog to be about stories…

    So gradually it fizzled out. Now I only use my blog in connection with my vintage shop. But I still want to write and I’m still thinking that maybe it would be possible to do it my own way. Staying true to how I imagined it. Just writing my stories.

    I am honestly happy for you that you chose your own path. So many people are scared to do that for so many different reasons. I really think that your story will make others strong, too. It has made me stronger, I know that.

    I wish you all the best and will always wait for your new stories. And thank you!

    https://sofaundermapletree.wordpress.com

  • Definitely felt the shift; particularly when you started going full on with “pardon my french” series (which provided great insight while still being fashion-week-timely but at the same time, timeless information within these videos). I loved the videos you did for Love Style Life too. :) i must’ve watched the one with Emmanuelle Alt at least 5 times.

    Fashion and style are a lot more than just the front row, and you’ve captured that pretty darn well.

    I feel like you’ve really grown into your own, become more you than ever and you’re happier. It shows in your articles, and showed in your book, and continues to show in your photos. I’m really happy for you! Thank you for being open, writing with your heart on your sleeve, and sharing your lives with us.

  • Amazing article!

    Super boring question, but where is that incense holder from?!

  • I have always felt that the Fashion Shows were never for me, but for the Fashion industry and the rare few who can afford it and appreciate it.
    I have felt that what ordinary women wear on the streets all over the world (I am from Australia) is much more interesting, refreshing and original. This is why I was so taken by your blog all those years ago, finally someone who felt the same way and was displaying beautiful images and stories of everyday women (and men) that could inspire me to be myself.

  • Hi lady,
    As a long time reader, I definitely felt the shift even as it happened in a very organic and subtle way.

    What I love-truly, appreciate and relate to are a few key components of this “revelation”. I relate to the idea that we style and fashion lovers can have our relationship with that world and it doesn’t necessarily mean we dream of reaching the pinnacle interface of front row fashion.

    I appreciate that you’ve respectfully tackled a bigger issue of exterior/interior values while writing and exploring what the fashion show circuit meant to you. It so beautifully cooresponds to your interest and research on mindfulness… i.e.: if it looks great on the outside but feels shitty inside: LISTEN.

    I loved the post where you talked about how you felt yourself changing, and how we have to leave room for that growth and evolution. I was feeling the same thing inside myself and you gave a voice to what I, too, was experiencing (in large part due to meditation). The fact that you tried that lifestyle, braved walking away from it, share your journey with us creates an entirely new paradigm for what it means to have a relationship to fashion and style. I may be home, with messy unwashed hair, wearing men’s basketball shorts with a doen blouse and shitty day old eyeliner= but we must meet “that” world on our own terms. No rules, and as you said, no rules= freedom.

    Thank you!!!

  • Love this. At the end of the day, its about what brings you joy, not a momentarily spark of happiness. When you have joy, you also have hope, joy and hope gives you life!

  • “Maybe I’ll never find anywhere I truly fit in. Maybe that’s what makes me who I am. Maybe I’m just made to be unfitting, unbelonging—and free.” wow. these days you really are “singing my life with your words”. So beautifully said and thought. thank you!!! I think it’s a beautiful lifestyle too… (the longer the better – life has its ways to have you make into a beautifu giftl what has been so challenging when younger!)

  • Megan Autumn August, 31 2017, 9:24 / Reply

    magnifique!!
    i love your honesty and realness xo

  • Dear Garance,
    This is the first time I am writing, after many years of reading your posts.
    I am now 34, so I’ve been reading you during my professional and personal growth.
    First of all, thank you for being so honest all the time, your blog has always been a window to your life. As a person who lived through the birth and emancipation of social media, your latest articles remind me that “what shines isn’t always gold” and how one should look for what’s best for oneself.
    I agree about the fashion shows, how they’ve become a parade of people in disguise craving for attention. I’ve seen it also in my latest vacations, girls in a hurry taking thousands of pictures in different posses, not even enjoying the place they’re at and yelling at the person taking the picture in order to get that perfect shot.
    Many fashion and lifestyle blogs are all about selling you something, making you feel that you MUST have this and the places you HAVE to go, with different information everyday. Many of my favorite bloggers travel so much now they’re hardly a week in a place, people that used to inspire with their creativity and sartorial eye are now just mannequins selling whatever they can.
    I am glad you’re following your gut and surrounded yourself with great people, keeping it real, both for you and your readers. It seems you’ve had a rough year, I bet many of your readers did too. I’m just happy to know that I am not alone trying to find my place, battling with challenges and opening our eyes to the big lie social media has become these days.

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