So you’re getting married.
Great! Congratulations!! You have so much to look forward to. Including being totally broke!
Yeah, so it’s time we talk about how much weddings cost. Some of you warned me in the comments after the first mini I wrote, and I believed you! I knew weddings could be crazy expensive and we were determined to keep ours reasonable.
And then I started quoting things out and my sticker shock had me going through the 7 stages of grief. (Ok first, let me preface this with the fact that I have a HUGE family and that we’re extremely close. I can’t really picture my wedding without my aunts and uncles and cousins, it just so happens that there’s 72 of us…)
So first there was shock. A $10,000 quote for a band to play for four hours. WHAT?!
Then there was denial. No no no, we can totally do this on the cheap. There’s no way catering is $150 a head and we’ll probably have 150 people so that’s $22,500 but there’s no way that’s right…I was never that good at math.
To anger. Which consisted of me yelling at Josh about needing to make decisions about whether or not we were really doing this. Yes, I went totally nuts and he still wants to marry me.
Then bargaining. So if we do the wedding at this resort we don’t really like at least we can get the flowers we want!
Oh and then the guilt. Like how could I spend so much on a wedding when there’s so much to be done in the world. I’m so selfish, how could I even dream of something like this?
To depression. Which is the hardest. Because you realize the wedding of your dreams (for me at least) would probably cost $150,000 or more and so having the wedding of your dreams is impossible.
Then there’s acceptance. Which is where we’re at right now.
I’ve accepted that the fairy tale I’ve had in my head for years is not going to happen. No, like I said, I didn’t want a big poofy dress and to arrive to Josh on a horse with fireworks when we kiss. But I did want to have flowers dripping from the top of a big tent set up on the beach in Cape Cod, surrounded in candles, with a big dance floor and a big band, and multiple courses of delicious food… Yeah, it doesn’t sound that crazy but let me tell you, it is.
But I can say that Josh and I both feel confident that the wedding we do pull off, at a budget we both feel comfortable with (even thought it’s more than what I was expecting), will be totally worth it because it’s important to us to be surrounded by friends and family for that day in a place that means the world to us (yes, we’re still doing the wedding in Cape Cod). We did decide to put a hold on buying an apartment though. Because you can’t always do it all. But we have a long life ahead of us, and I’ve finally accepted we don’t have to do everything all at once.
Image via Time