A love letter to

Laser Hair Removal

11 months ago by

Laser Hair Removal

Dear Laser Hair Removal,

I wanted to take a moment and properly thank you. I would also like to make a note for someone to thank you during my eulogy — oh, yes, I am controlling and narcissistic enough to have planned my own funeral. Don’t worry. I know it’s not normal. Hmm, perhaps you even belong in my epitaph?

“Here lies Veronica McCarthy. It was thanks to laser hair removal she finally attained a smooth bikini line at age thirty and thus overcame her greatest fear in life, a spontaneous beach day.”

You see, prior to our courtship, a “spontaneous beach day” sounded about as fun and frivolous to me as “the bar exam.” If any of my friends were to invite me on a “spontaneous beach day” one of two things was true. Either…

A) They were not really my friend because my real friends would know I need AT MINIMUM three days prep time to show 90% of my skin in public and not be mistaken for Sasquatch.

OR

B) They could never be my friend because we have fundamentally different fears and thus struggles in life.

I’m sure those hairless, flawless, unicorns of women have their own struggles if life — and I respect those struggles, I do — but they will never understand the struggle of thick, dark, unwanted body hair and the fear of having to wear jean shorts into the ocean because that seems more normal than exposing what lies beneath.

I know it took me a long time to finally commit to our regular sessions but I’m not good at planning ahead (unless it’s my funeral) and booking our appointments in winter for my “summertime skin” was about as appealing as eating salads in depths of February.

But thank god I grew up and saw the potential in you. I know we have a bit more work to do, but my razor is already thrilled at how smooth my skin gets. My armpits have never looked so attractive!

And now, at age thirty, you have finally given me the courage to accept any and all spontaneous beach day offers with the enthusiasm of Derek Zoolander drinking an orange mocha frappechino.

With all my heart and lack of dark body hair,

Veronica

9 comments

Add yours
  • Erin Farrugia January, 18 2018, 6:56 / Reply

    Laser has been the best thing I have ever done for myself!!
    And I repeat…for myself!!
    Getting laser was for me and me alone, sure my partner appreciates it but, it’s seriously just one less thing I have to think about day-to-day.
    Getting my legs done (as well as bikini, underarm & upper lip) has been the biggest payoff! I always had issues shaving my legs e.g itchy bumps, missing patches, skin sensitivity etc etc but now I have hair-free and silky smooth legs all year round!!! And yep impromptu trips to the beach or pool are a piece of cake. No fuss No muss!!

  • Not knocking Veronica or anyone else who has had laser hair removal – I know I’ve thought about it many many times while shaving my own hair and cursing the patriarchy, and also enjoyed the silky feel of sheets against smooth legs, but are we ever going to get to a point when women don’t feel this obligation to be hairless and unnaturally childlike? It’s so unfair that men don’t have to shave their pits and legs, but if a woman doesn’t do it, she is shamed by men and other women as a gross and unhygienic Sasquatch, not to mention how razors for women are more expensive than razors for men.

  • Veronica January, 19 2018, 9:50

    oh man! I feel you so much and the internal dilemma. I definitely loathed the amount of money I put towards something that men don’t think twice about on their own bodies. but I couldn’t even shave my legs w/o getting a five o’clock shadow (hello Greek and Croatian blood!) so I decided to do it so I could at least shave when I wanted to and have it last more than a day. oh and my happy trail. I just really didn’t want a happy trail anymore on my body. lol but I LOVE diving into these types of convos so thank you for bringing it up! (and I exclusively buy men’s razors and it’s insane that they are cheaper)

  • I’m going to get laser hair removal after I’m done having kids. Body hair often returns with the hormonal surges of pregnancy.

  • Sherisse January, 21 2018, 9:18 / Reply

    I absolutely loved this letter, as it felt like my own words. I started with my armpits which miraculously worked after a few sessions. It cost plenty money but looking back now best decision I’ve made. My skin there is clearer and the bumps I used to have all gone! No more use of tend skin!! I finally caved and started my bikini (which is removal of everything on top as well). 3 sessions in and my skin is so smooth, hair growth is minimal and being a beach bum means I don’t have to give a s*** about having to shave to go to the beach! THank god for laser hair removal. I’ve recommended to my friends and they too have started. I did it for me! Glad I did although I wish I had done it years ago. Xxx

  • Yes! I don’t like my happy trail either, and I hate that it makes me uncomfortable because I wish I could embrace everything about my body. I feel like I’ve been brainwashed by society to find it unacceptable. When I see other women with body hair, I can’t help that my first gut reaction is “ick.” Then my brain is like “no, you go girl, you do you!” and I feel guilty about my initial reaction. It’s not just body hair either, facial hair too – love that natural eyebrows are “in” and hope it’s not just a fad, but women have facial hair in other places too and while a lot of men also shave, the repercussions of not removing facial hair for women are much worse.

  • I agree that women should not feel they must rid themselves of body hair to be civilized and beautiful. Luckily, a few of us do not, myself included. I must admit that I have very fine, fairly sparse (black) hair, and I do tweeze the rogue “thick” underarm hair or wayward brow hair on occasion. There is no rhyme or reason other than that I do what I like! No one has complained yet! ;)
    It is mostly due to laziness that I remain au naturale. Anyone who cares that much about my body hair needs to reassess their world (may I suggest climate change to him or her?) And before I have mislead you to paint a picture of a heathen, I do try to put my best self forward when I get ready every morning. I just don’t think some extra hair makes a difference. Ladies, let’s not be so hard on ourselves!

  • Executive Fashion And Beauty Editor, The Huffington Post

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