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Heart-to-Hearts in Cars

2 weeks ago by

Heart-to-Hearts in Cars

I was having dinner last night with a friend at Rosemary’s. Which, by the way, is a super cute restaurant in NYC that feels straight out of a Nancy Meyers movie, specifically The Holiday (thanks Vanessa for the recommendation!)

But anyways, she brought up this post that I wrote about loving the suburbs (a sentiment she and I both share). Then, she went on to say how she and another friend had recently been discussing that along with all the pleasures and benefits of urban life, comes the loss of the car-ride heart-to-heart. Immediately, I knew precisely what she was talking about. There is a particular art/ affective quality to long chats in cars. If you grew up in the suburbs, you must know the feeling…

You know, those Friday nights in high school when you’d pick up a friend, grab dinner at Maggiano’s (which was always attached to a mall for some reason?), stop for fro-yo, then drive your friend home, and spend 45 extra minutes sitting in the car in her driveway, with the heat on, discussing some emotionally charged, in depth topic. Or, the obligatory middle school pickup situation with your mom prodding for answers to questions—“How was your day? Did anything exciting happen? You’ve been so moody lately? Any cute boys?”—before treating you to ice cream in order to coax you to open up to her. Which you’d do, and then somehow end up crying together and blasting Faith Hill in the garage.

Sadly, a subway heart-to-heart just isn’t the same. There was something so safe about the confined space of the car, like no secret could get past those doors. AND something so comforting in knowing you could unload your heart/ soul/ mind onto a friend and then promptly deliver her, safe and sound, right to her doorstep! No “text me when you get home” necessary.

I haven’t quite found my big city alternative to the car-ride heart-to-heart. A coffee shop doesn’t work. A park may or may not work, depending on too many conditional factors. My/ a friend’s couch could work, but traveling to each other’s apartments can be far and sometimes you want to be out of your home! I mostly just find myself and friends unloading serious life anxieties, updates, and contemplations inside loud and crowded Manhattan restaurants! Not to mention, I am incredibly paranoid about gossiping in public!! It all feels a little Sex and the City to be honest…but, maybe that’s just part of cosmopolitan life?

What are your go-to spots that substitute the car-ride heart-to-heart?

3 comments

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  • Paige Pope November, 29 2018, 2:18 / Reply

    I moved to the city this past year, and this post just made me realize the loss I sustained as a result. Long car rides with the base of my relationship with my boyfriend. We lived across our small town from each other, and nearly anything amusing to do in our area required a 30 minute car ride. This meant our relationship was built upon those intimate car moments. Singing, laughing, deep talks and even some of our most dramatic fights happened there, often driving around until our talk was finished or fight was resolved. Whenever we leave the city, and get to take a drive, I jump at the opportunity. There is something about a portable little home that brings out the best conversations. Sadly, I have found no alternative

  • Road Trips! While not perfect for the “we need to talk now”. It still is fun to go on the road for a few days with a good friend or two and talk about everything in depth. Love the time away and really connecting again with my friends.
    This post brought back memories of just those moments.

  • Hier, je suis allee a une expo avec une amie, le trajet a dure a peu pres 45 minutes pendant lesquelles nous avons eu ce qu’on appelle a deep conversation qui est passee par des larmes, des rires et une sensation de vulnerabilite. Ce genre de conversation arrive souvent en voiture, peut-etre parce que l’on ne se regarde pas.

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