Have you ever been on a “girls trip?” If you have, or even if you’ve just seen the movie, Girls Trip (all hail Tiffany Haddish), then you probably know about the infamous text message chain that takes place prior to departure. It usually revolves around what one is going to pack for said girls trip. Let’s say four New York girls were going to LA for the week, I imagine the text message chain would go a little something like this…
Hannah: So what is everyone packing? Are we going out at all at night? Do I need to bring heels?
Christina: Thank god. I’ve been dying to ask the same thing.
Zoe: I’d like to be removed from this conversation immediately.
Hannah: I think monochrome for the beach, yeah?
Zoe: Where’s the eject button? Help.
Christina: Oooooo. I love that. Have you seen the retro suits lately? You can get a matching cardigan. So posh.
Zoe: Don’t say posh. That word died with the Spice Girls.
Hannah: I just got these white sunnies and literally everything looks ten times more posh when I add them to an outfit.
Zoe: Please see above re: “posh.”
Christina: White sunnies SCREAM Los Angeles. I love them.
Zoe: Where is Sienna? I need her for back up. SIENNAAAAAAA
Hannah: Your screams won’t work here, you know she’s at work and we’re on Do Not Disturb.
Christina: But seriously, going out? heels?
Hannah: Low heels in case we walk.
Christina: Nobody walks in LA.
Zoe: That’s a song lyric. Not a truth.
Christina: It’s a song lyric because it’s a truth.
Hannah: Seriously, Z, what are you packing?
Zoe: All black. As always.
Christina: But it’s LA! You can’t wear black in the presence of palm trees. They’ll be offended.
Zoe: Watch me.
Hannah: It’s upsetting because I know you’ll still look good.
Christina: Well I’m honoring the palm trees with bermuda shorts.
Hannah: Ooo. fun. love that.
Zoe: They’re not gods. You don’t need to “honor” them.
Christina: You don’t know that.
Zoe: SIENNNNAA HELP MEEE
Sienna: Oh my god.
Zoe: SHE LIVES!
Christina: Are we seriously on DND?
Sienna: Yes or else I would basically have a vibrator in my pocket.
Zoe: Not necessarily that bad of thing…
Hannah: Ew, Z.
Sienna: I don’t have time to read the forty texts above this. Someone summarize for me.
Zoe: Hannah and Christina are trying to figure out what to pack.
Sienna: Right. Okay. I’m out. See you all tomorrow at JFK.
Christina: I still think we need one going out outfit. Just in case. Like, who knows who we’ll meet.
Zoe: Right, because on the last trip you “met” the bell hop and one needs a ball gown for such an encounter.
Christina: YOU PROMISED NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN.
Hannah: Hey! No fighting! Christina, bring your yellow Jacquemus dress. It can be dressed up, down…. or sideways
Christina: I want new friends.
Christina: What do you think Sienna is going to bring for her going out lewk?
Zoe: Don’t spell it like that. Be an adult.
Christina: But make it fash-UN
Zoe: I hate you.
Hannah: Sienna will descend down the stairs in some flawless all white ensemble that is neither wrinkled nor stained despite packing everything in a carry on because she’s an untouchable unicorn. It’s like she repels dirt with her mere physical presence.
Sienna: I’m still here.
Zoe: (Guys, she’s like Alexa! She’s always listening!!!)
Sienna: Why are you all still texting about this? Am I the only one with a job?
Zoe / Christina / Hannah: Yep. / Kind of. / Being a nanny is very hard work!