Can you be everywhere all the time?
Hi from the Boeing 757 about to take off from Miami and go to Dallas. I’ve been on the road for my book tour for almost a month now, and I have the feeling that I’m almost living in a soft in-between.
Honestly, it’s really amazing to get to meet my readers. As much as I can, even when the lines get a bit long, I try to spend a little time with everyone and I’ve met such amazing, talented, bright, stylish and funny people.
After each signing session, I get back to my hotel with stars in my eyes.
Yes, ok, it’s also because I’ve spent three hours hearing people tell me how fantastic and stunning I look in real life (thank you, that’s sweet, you too) and my ego would totally defeat Kanye’s ego if they decided to arm wrestle.
But really, it’s because I’m super impressed by you all, and I realize it was about time I met you. This gives a real, tangible and moving side to the virtual life we’ve been living together all these years.
Arriving in Miami in the midst of all this was like an weird social interlude, where all of a sudden I got to catch up with all my friends from the fashion world, my night friends, my friends from the international jet-set who had all decided to meet up in the sun (yeah, no, this is totally ironic since it rained like there was no tomorrow all weekend) to check out some art and party like crazy, just like every year.
So this got mixed with that floating feeling I have each time I’m on the road. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my team, I miss the dog I wish I had (?), my emails are piling up, and when I have some free time, I just feel like doing nothing.
And that’s the story of how I spent three days in Miami in full JOMO mood. Joy of Missing Out, does that sound familiar? The exact contrary of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), when you check out everyone else’s lives on Instagram and wonder why you are not at this amazing party full of amazing people, and when you get the feeling that because of that, your life is not worth living.
In Miami, Art Basel was taking place, with millions of openings and tons of fancy parties, but all I wanted to do was work, go to bed early and go run on the beach. Not one second did I think about which party I was missing.
After seeing so many events on your feed, you eventually don’t feel the need to be part of it, or that you could add something interesting to it all, or even cover it in any new way. Of course, there’s always the possibility you might mingle with a celebrity or network or parade around your new bangs (ahahah, yeah that’s me) – but all this can be done online as much as in real life.
And yet, to be where it’s happening, always be between two planes, all this has fed my blog for years. It’s what I’ve written about, it’s given me tons of stories to tell (some of them tragi-comic, my personal favorites), and lots of people to meet, lots of dreams to live… it’s been an infinite source of inspiration.
But one day, I felt the urge to slow it down. At that time, I was still with Scott and he, on the contrary, wanted to travel more and more, and we knew it was going to be a problem. He wanted to travel the world back and forth, and I just wanted to make friends, real friends, not just #bffs between two fashion weeks, and to have a real home, not just some sort of space where you just do your laundry before hitting the road again. To me, all these trips starting to feel like I was escaping my life, and that being everywhere and that I was slowly losing all sense of reality.
As for all the events, fashion shows, parties… that all became just a little less interesting when I became an insider. When it’s all perfectly scheduled and you’re not in a discovery phase any more, there’s a lot less to write about…!
I often think about that when I browse through the lives of my Insta-star friends. Traveling to create content is wonderful. You have so many pictures to take it make you dizzy. Your followers adore following your dream life, your perfect outfits and your wonderful glow in spite of the 23 hour flight you’ve just been through. Of course, they know it’s a little faked up in the corners, but they still love it and the number of likes explodes when you are on a beach that looks like a screen-saver or a gorgeous villa attending an unbelievably beautiful fashion show.
And it makes everybody dream, myself included.
I have a lot of girlfriends that are everywhere you’re supposed to be, the press trips, the parties, the events, they do it with a smile that’s not even faded a little – I can only admire them for that.
Last year, I wrote my book and I can tell you that I did not see much more than my living room, I would more or less wear the same outfit every day, and that after I’d Instagrammed my neighborhood café three times, well, that was pretty much social media death.
Yes, but it was an amazing time of my life. Routine is a wonderful thing that we don’t talk about enough, and the inner trips are horizons that don’t have a lot of places to be shared in this world where everything is visual.
Not only was I climbing the mountain it is to create a book, but at the same time I was falling in love, (and God knows men are a continent of their own).
Last year, (as I just said) I really discovered my neighborhood café, I finally took some time to cook, and I made friends I love. I got to have entire weekends free, I decorated my apartment, I took some time to day dream, I took a little distance with my bloggy blog blogger life, I changed.
The tone of the blog changed, we took on new challenges, we took some time to ask ourselves real questions about our angle and vision… was it really in our DNA to be at all the parties, or did we want to focus on things that inspire us and make us feel vibrant?
Really, it was great.
There are some people who love to be on the road all the time, people who love to be where it’s happening all the time, on the go, in the in crowd. Some people have a job that makes them change cities and lives every three years and just love it. Some are just as happy with a few escapades each year, and some love going back to the same place all the time.
Some just love to stay home even though they won’t dare say it because right now, the ideal is a passport filled with stamps and a social profile in between two planes and parties.
I still love traveling, I still love to party, meet people. And, more than anything, I still love to look for inspiration. But at last, I am blessed with the Joy Of Missing Out.
At last I’ve understood that you can’t be all over the world and really present at the same time. You can’t be where everyone is and remain surprising. You can’t go to all the parties and be with the people to know without losing a part of yourself. At least, I can’t.