6 years ago by

Even if I know that fashion is not a parallel world, I have to say sometimes I have doubts.

Last time, we explored the fashion tongue of the professional life and how it required a fertile imagination. Well, today, we will study the semantics of fashion week.

Here again, welcome to the soft and fluffy world of fashion parabole. Listen up:

Due to space restrictions for the runway show, we will unfortunately not be able to accomodate your invitation request = Who are you and who is the idiot that gave you my e-mail address?

Oh you know, this time around, I decided to live fashion week a little differently. I’ve decided to only go see shows I REALLY want to see, see some of the young designers, you know, where you find TRUE inspiration = ever since I changed magazines, I’m not invited to any of the important shows.

What are you doing after the show? Arg, I just have to go backstage after, pffff. = I know the designer = I’m more powerful than you.

What did I think of the show? Oh! It always takes me a little time to digest what I’ve just seen… = I haven’t had time yet to check Cathy Horyn’s twitter to see what I thought of the show.

What did I think of the show? Oh! I loved the music = I hated the show but the brand buys 30 ad pages in my magazines every year. And we don’t know each other well enough for me to give you the truth.

What did I think of the show? Oh! My god, what a tragedy! Those clothes must be burned! Outfits like that, it’s a famine of beauty! = It’s the end of fashion week. I’ve lost all sense. My life is a soap opera and I’m the hero of it. Or I’m Andre Leon Talley.

You coming tonight? = … to the super private party everyone’s talking about. You know full well what party I’m talking about. I doubt you’re invited.

Ah? You ARE coming? = They invited YOU?!

Excuse me, what is number on your invitation ? Get out of my front row seat, bitch.

There is, of course, non-verbal language as well. Non-verbal communication… VERY important.

  • I’m wearing sandals even though it’s 20 below = I have a driver.
  • I arrive with empty hands and no invitation = My invitation is my face. Everyone knows me.
  • I come with 12 people without being invited = I’m Kanye West.

That’s it for fashion week! Next time we’ll do beauty. Repeat after me : Fashion is not a parallel universe. Fashion is not…

Translation : Tim Sullivan


The top on the illustration is inspired by a Miu Miu. Kisses!


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