my-dear-period-garance-dore

8 months ago by

My Dear Period,

I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced, you and me.

One day, you arrived without warning. I was still a child. I was such a child, I didn’t realize I was becoming a woman. My chest had started to fill out, and I didn’t even notice. I didn’t look at my body back then. I lived in it.

But of course, a man quickly took it upon himself to make me notice. A fisherman in the village where I lived, with a look in his eye I wasn’t familiar with yet: “Ah, they’re growing! Someone’s becoming a woman!”

I still remember the feeling of shock and shame – and the oversize t-shirt I forced myself to wear the rest of the summer. And still, at that moment, I had no idea just how big they were going to get, my breasts. No idea what I was going to have to endure in the years to come.

One day that same summer, I was sitting on the toilet, in my parents’ restaurant, when suddenly I saw blood in my underwear. I thought I’d hurt myself somehow.

I screamed.

I’d heard about you before, of course, but you were definitely not part of my world.
I was eleven. I was a kid.

I screamed, and my father came over, then my mother. It was right in the middle of lunch hour, so the restaurant was packed. They gave me a quick explanation of what was happening to me, then I went to clean up.

And just like that, in an instant, my childhood was over.

I quickly got used to your presence. I learned how to use pads and I remember the day when, frustrated with missing too many beach days, I tried a tampon for the first time. A revolution. Suddenly I was normal again. I could forget, a bit, the body that was clearly taking up more and more space in my life.

My breasts took on their final shape. They were full and proud.
But of course, I couldn’t see their beauty.

After the village fisherman (ah, village fishermen. I’ve got quite a few stories to tell about village fishermen, but that will be for another time), the boys at school who were just as poorly educated, and just as disrespectful of my body as I was, and couldn’t believe the miracle puberty had just created.

I was the first in my class to become a woman so visibly, and unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried to hide it, it was really hard to deny.

I was eleven years old, and men were looking at me in the street. At school, the boys would not leave me alone. And they were rarely nice. When they were, it was because they wanted something from me, which plunged me into oceans of self-doubt. Because that’s just how it is. A woman’s body can’t protect a child’s mind. I didn’t know how to protect myself. And those harsh, vulgar, inappropriate words – hearing them so young – that never goes away.

I heard it all, and it really, really hurt me.

I was incapable of communicating about my situation because I didn’t understand it. Who could have understood me? I transformed myself from an innocent, smiling kid into a rebellious teen with baggy clothes and a wary attitude.

I stopped swimming, I bought big sweaters and started slouching my shoulders.

And you were always there, faithfully each month. You always showed up unexpectedly, I was never ready to welcome you because I never knew where I was in my cycle and I kind of wanted to forget about you – you, the inconvenience of you and my stained underwear.

You’re on your period? It’s embarrassing, something you only tell your best friend.
You have tampons in your purse? That’s embarrassing, you’d better hide them well, so no one sees.

You have a stain on your pants? So embarrassing, and constant cruel jokes. Fortunately, that never happened to me. It happened to a girl in my class, and she ended up switching schools.
Hide. I had to hide, hide, hide it away. Hide and forget my femininity, push it as far away as possible.

With each passing month, the pain got worse and worse. Light cramps started to turn into crippling spasms. And the more I hated you, the more you made me scream. I was in so much pain, I had to miss entire days of school. I’d go home doubled over, in tears, and collapse onto my bed, loaded up with Tylenol and wrapped around a hot water bottle.

The years went by, and I got used to how violent the pain was each month.
That pain so many women have. Pain so intense I couldn’t even think. Just groan and cry.

So I finally figured it out and was ready at all times. I always had my pain relief kit with me. I learned over the years that you would always come at the worst moments. In class, of course. During an exam, or on a Sunday when all the pharmacies were closed. On a boat. On a trip. I remember one night, I was traveling in Syria and the pain was so bad, a doctor came to give me a shot of morphine.

I was 17. I remember saying to myself: “This can’t be normal for a natural process to make me suffer this much…!”

In the meantime, my sex life was beginning.
Fortunately for me, even though I still didn’t love and understand the woman I was, I knew I was a human being and I deserved respect. I managed to protect myself from the traps that a lot of young teen girls fall into when they’re a bit lost (which is to say – all teen girls) and I was more or less respected, and even loved.

And life went on.

Then one day, when I was about 27, I stopped taking the pill I had started taken a few years before. It was strange, just something I felt I had to do. I decided to follow my intuition for once. I would protect myself another way. I didn’t like how I felt when I was taking the pill. I didn’t feel “real” and I can’t really explain the feeling any more than that.

Then when I was around thirty, I started becoming aware of my mood swings. A few days before you arrived, dear period, I became unbearable. First of all, my chest would swell so much my bras didn’t fit anymore. My stomach got so bloated, I couldn’t zip my jeans. And as for my mood, uh…how do I put this. I started to understand the meaning of “rage”. Rage, tears. Or immense sadness, tears. Or both at the same time.

Every month, my world imploded. Every month, I was leaving my boyfriend, my job, my life. I was crumbling emotionally. Every month, I destroyed everything and tore it all down.
And every time, I was hurting people and suffering deeply.

I finally realized my moods were related to my cycle. “Aaaah shoot, come back, babe, haha no I was just kidding, you’re not a pretentious messy asshole, see, I’m just on my period!!!”

And every month, dear period, I cursed you even more. On top of the physical pain, there was now the emotional pain – not the kind of thing you can manage with some Advil and a hot water bottle.

Fuck you, period! Shit! Fuck off, goddamnit, shit! My period.

But anyway, I ended up paying more attention to my moods.

It’s difficult to understand how much control our hormones have over us. How life can be rosy one day and gray, rainy and hopeless the next. I tried to push away those feelings. And tell myself, pfff, it’s just PMS, that’s all. Life will look rosy again tomorrow.

But there again, I was hiding it. Only my close friends got to hear all my complaints, poor things. I’d heard enough insults about women being “irrational” – I wasn’t going to be the one to trample on the dream that a woman could be President of the USA or France one day (“and who knows, what if she has to decide whether to press the red button or not and she has her period that day? hmm?”) NOPE, NOT ME. So I never said anything and pretended like everything was totally fine.

I remember one thing. I remember having an intuition. I remember thinking about all the emotional problems that were surfacing during my period and hearing a little voice say: “These problems aren’t entirely false, though. That guy is kind of a pretentious, messy asshole!” But then I discreetly slipped them all under the thick rug of my existence.

So there you go. All I wanted was peace, but inside me, a fierce war was raging.

And then one day I wanted to have a baby, and suddenly, kind of like how everyone warmed up to Kim Kardashian after treating her like she was an idiot for years (don’t overthink it, the comparison just came to me, I couldn’t not let you enjoy it too) I started to find you interesting, dear period.

I started trying to understand you and I even started reading books about my female body.

Yes, I had a body. Not just breasts, legs and a butt that were never small enough, thin enough or toned enough.

Inside, I had a body. An entire universe – magical, rhythmic, organic and vibrational. I started to understand it in snippets, all the while continuing (not gonna lie) to treat it like it was ignorant and not worth listening to. Like a machine at my service.

On the one hand, I was beginning to understand that maybe if I was tired during my period, it meant I should rest. Since I’m my own boss, I had a choice, so I started staying home on those days, working at my own pace on my couch.

On the other hand, only trusting the courage of my doctors, I was stuffing myself with hormones trying to force destiny and pop out a fucking baby(that doesn’t sound very nice, but that’s the fucking violence I felt through the whole process).

Little by little, I started to like the first day of my period. I’d learned it was a great day to write. To not make any appointments. To be alone, to be creative.

I was seesawing back and forth. On the one hand, I was taking myself all the way to the end of the story of hate and shame against my body, which you now know more about the roots of, filling myself with hormones, gulping down steroids and letting myself basically be insulted by my doctors.

On the other hand, I hated every time you came (no baby!) but I also admired you. I saw your beautiful color, flamboyant red, a sign of my health, a sign of future possibilities. I admired your unshakable timing. I started listening to your messages and understanding that, yes, each month was a physical house cleaning, but also an emotional house cleaning.

And that listening to those dissonant messages also meant I had to confront my deeper problems and find solutions. I started to figure out that following my cycle gave incredible power to my creativity. Spending time alone during my period to write helped me come back fresh and ready to tackle all my appointments the following week.

Of course, it wasn’t always possible to organize all that time away, but I learned that every little adjustment made a difference.

And then, my pain started to get better. I couldn’t believe it. No way.

I still kept my Advil close by.

And then one day, just like that, I managed (ok, with a few breathing exercises) to not take any Advil at all. It almost worried me, it was so magical.

Since then, I stopped using tampons. I wanted to let you flow naturally and see and understand the messages I found written red on white in my pad.

Yes, I am not embarrassed to say that.
No, it isn’t dirty.

On days when I don’t have that option, I use a menstrual cup.

Like I wrote in my Lenny Letter, I continued experimenting with my fertility to the point of IVF. I went through one cycle and the day I learned it didn’t work, I also heard my body scream.

During that long year of trying to have a baby, I had learned to love and respect you, dear period. I learned to take you into consideration and honor you as a marvelous sign of life and the cycle of nature I am a part of, baby or no baby. I learned to listen to you, and I also realized one day you would leave me, and how much I would miss you.

And in return, you’ve become gentler, sending me subtler messages about my life. No need to tear everything down anymore, just make adjustments. Take a moment, each month, to listen to your messages. The pain has completely disappeared, and I’d almost say I miss it, but that would bean exaggeration.

And when my body cried out, I finally, thanks to you, dear period, finally learned to listen to it. And when Chris and I decided not to continue the treatments, to let nature take over, whatever she decides to bring our way, I knew that was the right thing for me. Not for everyone.

Just for me, a unique being who is, from now on, connected to my body.

If I’m writing to you today, it’s not for me, because we talk every day and you, my period, my body, my femininity, my intuition, are now the guides of my existence.

It’s for all the little eleven-year-old girls out there all alone, wondering what to do with this powerful femininity blossoming inside them. All the teen girls. All the girls who were made to feel embarrassed about their periods, ashamed of being a woman.

That femininity – listen to it, respect it, and fight hard against anyone who tries to diminish it. Anyone who tells you you are dirty, vulgar, crazyor irrational. Or that you were asking for it.

Don’t hide from yourself. Don’t hide from others.

Find a big sister like me, symbolic or real, close to you, to explain to you the joys and treasures of a woman’s life. Have her read this letter. She’ll understand.

This is a new day we are living in. A new time where femininity, its rhythms and treasures, will finally be honored by society.

It’s up to us, dear period.

It’s up to us, my sisters.

Translated by Andrea Perdue

120 comments

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  • Vous êtes tellement touchante, je vous lis depuis des années (vos débuts) et chaque fois, j’ai la larme à l’oeil

  • si beau, si vrai, si féministe, si profond, si moi, si nous les femmes…MERCI <3

  • ton texte m’a bouleversée.

  • Garance, I almost cried reading this, and not because of PMS. Thank you for sharing! It means immensely a lot. I understand what to do now, instead of fighting it every single time.

  • mariateresa February, 13 2018, 9:54 / Reply

    Grande Garance!!!!!Hai straragione!!!!It’s all right!!!!

  • Sunny Side February, 13 2018, 10:09 / Reply

    Padman Challenge ! Toutes ces petites filles en Inde et en Afrique qui ne vont pas à l’école parce qu’elles n’ont pas de protection ou bien sont écartées pendant quelques jours. Comment est-ce possible que de nos jours ? Education first ! Il y a tant à faire pour ces jeunes filles. Ton texte si intime résonne très fort.

  • A l’apparition de mes regles j’ai ressenti exactement ce que vous decrivez. Quel parcours du combattant que celui de la femme, mais quelle beaute que ce corps qui change a l’adolescence, a la grossesse et meme lorsque les regles s’arretent, le corps devient plus doux, presque vulnerable.
    Chere Garance, quel beau texte, tres emouvant.

  • This is beautiful, Garance. I was ten years old and this brought back a flood of memories and emotions. Thank you for capturing this!!

  • Mazette ! C’est très très beau … <3

  • Our bodies are chaotic, and they are our homes. We can order them by tweaking, dieting, excercizing and buying things to adorn, yet the truth is that we all sweat, we bleed, we shed, we age, and we die. I am glad you have taken a stance against chemicals, but for many people those medications are necessary for survival. I work in an urban college where girls have to attend classes and then go to their jobs/ work at restaurants, grocery stores, etc. It is unfathomable that they would give up the choices you gave up. Class matters, not just gender.

  • Christina February, 15 2018, 2:23

    Thank you for this important comment!

  • Agreed. I love this post for many reasons, and relate to many parts of it – I, too, got my period at 11 and have struggled in the past with very strong cramps requiring medication and often days off from school/work as well. I don’t like using tampons so I save them for when I must (beach days etc.) and still use pads, though I know they’re unpopular to many these days.

    As happy as I am for Garance finding her peace without the need for medication/hormones (and I truly am), I worry that there is a growing culture of disdain for many kinds of medicine and public health interventions because they are not viewed as “natural”. The reality is that such a stance (more aggressively promoted by other bloggers/influencers/etc than Garance, so this is not aimed at her but just elicited by a few parts of this post) comes from a place of immense privilege and when implemented with rigidity and a disregard for science and the greater good, can cause a great deal of harm and/or shame for the majority of people who survive and are only able to function because of these things. Nature is full of not only good but plenty of bad as well.

    Every woman has her own struggle, and I support her in the trial and error of finding what works for her – and I dream of the day when girls grow up with this positive mindset of Garance’s about their bodies, rather than the mix of anxiety and shame most of us live(d) with.

  • I’m crying Garance. I wanna hug you so tight. Thank you

  • Garance,

    Thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability. There’s so much that I can relate to in your piece. It is empowering and thought provoking. I’ve been reading your blog everyday for over ten years- thank you for allowing us to grow with you.

    Sam

  • Garance,

    Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. There is so much in this piece that I can relate to. I’ve been reading your blog everyday for over ten years- its so wonderful to grow and evolve alongside you!

    Thank you for the spark of empowerment and reflection in my morning!
    Sam

  • Hello Garance,
    merci pour ton texte qui confirme ce que j’avais déjà observé :
    une amie à moi (mon ex) avait des règles hyper douloureuses. Sa mère lui avait toujours décrit les règles comme un moment merdique, atroce, injuste même, où on (=les femmes) n’avait qu’à serrer les dents et attendre que “ça passe”. Choquée par les termes employés par mon amie, qu’elle avait hérités de sa mère, qui elle-même les avait reçus de sa propre mère (and so on depuis des générations je suppose), je lui avais rappelé qu’avoir ses règles était aussi un signe formidable de notre pouvoir, de la santé de notre corps, un signe de VIE en somme. Un formidable rappel mensuel que non seulement nous sommes en VIE mais qu’en plus nous sommes capables de donner la vie, d’en porter une nouvelle, enfin quoi, LA CLASSE, quand même !
    Après ça, j’avais observé (en silence) que mes amies dont les règles étaient vraiment “un sale moment à passer” avaient toutes reçues cette idée-là, à la base : que c’était merdique et douloureux et injuste et chiant.
    Mais… attendez… n’est-ce pas un peu comme l’idée que Femme, tu es nulle en maths / tu n’as pas le sens de l’orientation / tu es une petite chose fragile (et trop idiote pour faire de la politique, avoir de l’autorité, etc etc) ? Transformer le pouvoir extraordinaire qui est le nôtre en truc honteux, dégueulasse, n’est-ce pas plutôt ça justement qui le rend douloureux ?
    Comme si ce pouvoir (vital) se rebellait contre cette idée foireuse (les règles c’est nul) en luttant à l’intérieur de nous, pour dire “Non seulement je suis là, j’existe, mais en plus je suis une MERVEILLE ! ”
    Enfin voilà, merci, encore une fois, d’avoir mis tes mots sur cette idée que je partage.
    Nous sommes merveilleuses.

  • c’est un beau texte Garance ! la tendresse avec laquelle tu parles de tes règles me fait presque regretter de ne plus avoir les miennes (elles ont disparu à la pose d’un implant hormonal). Bon, presque seulement…

  • Anonymous2 February, 13 2018, 10:59 / Reply

    Thanks, Garance. What a journey. I lament the village fishermen in all walks of life. They really take so much goodness and replace it with so much pain, just like *that.*

    I wanted to celebrate pads, too! I love them. I find them very therapeutic; like I’m midwifing this release instead of arresting it. But I remember one day on 7th grade. A girl said to another friend, “don’t wear a pad! What if a guy grabs your butt and feels it?!”

    Let’s never let those words hit a child’s ears without some correction.

    Xoxo

  • Endometriose.
    Mes règles ont toujours été liées à l’endometriose j’aurai pu et aimé écrire ce texte. Dans 2 jours je vais perdre mon utérus et mes trompes à cause de cette fichue maladie. Sous ménopause chimique (pilule en continu) depuis 8 ans je les ai fait revenir pour leur dire au revoir étrange alors qu’elles m’ont toujours fait souffrir. Ça m’a fait mal et ça m’a rassurée sur le bien fondé de mon opération. Être une femme ne devrait pas faire souffrir ni faire honte c’est la nature c’est tout. Merci Garance!

  • This might be my favorite post of yours – ever! I have soooooo struggled the same struggles. Every day it’s a war with my body. This is incredibly relatable – thank you! xo

  • Je crois que je vais faire lire cette lettre à ma fille de 17 ans, elle a des sautes d’humeur, en fait de gros down !!!!!! et on a cru remarquer que c’était souvent avant ses périodes elle a commencé à voir une psy pour essayer de comprendre ce qu’elle vit et j’essaye de lui faire rencontrer un médecin c’est fou mais c’est plus compliqué. Peut être que vos mots pourront eux aussi l’accompagner. Je la ferai lire à mes deux filles?

  • This was incredible. Beautiful. Wise.
    The Internet brings many demons but also good things. Like your blog. And like information, including good information, about periods so little girls can be more knowledgeable. Or maybe my daughter learned it in biology class. In any case, when we talked, she had great questions that showed she already knew a lot. There was no shock or surprise when she got hers.
    As for me, it’s the end of the road, menopause. No more periods. I don’t mind at all. It’s a kind of freedom. Like, so this is how guys have it! But I do miss the benefits of estrogen for my skin and hair. Tradeoffs at every stage.

  • Je vais faire lire cette lettre à ma fille, elle vient d’avoir 17 ans, a des humeurs en dents de scie, pour ne pas dire de gros down!! On a remarquer que c’était bien souvent avant ses périodes elle vient de commencer à recontrer une psy essayer de decripter ses humeurs je dois lui faire rencontrer un médecin, çe qui s’avère plus difficile! Peut être que vos mots pourront l’accompagner aussi… Je pense bien faire ceci à mes deux filles, mes deux ados. A bientot.

  • Wow, periods are a real transformation. I had an equally rough transition into womanhood and my bleeding was so heavy I would miss school every month. I had to sit at home medicated with a heating pad on my womb, miserable and frustrated with my own body. Eventually my doctor put me on birth control pills to help ease the situation, but looking back I wish I had not spent so many decades consuming fake hormones and popping advil. Now that I am in my 40’s, I have to say I’m looking forward to it being over one of these days. I was never successful at embracing the blossom. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s something we all need to talk about and learn how to navigate. Whether you’re the wild one having your period or supporting someone who is.

  • Dear Garance,
    when I was about 13 and my body began to change i received one of those comments you described and I stopped eating out of fear of becoming a woman. Something i was not ready to handle yet. I lost so much weight that my period stopped. It took me many many years to find peace with my body and my femininity. I‘m 40 now and i‘m finally ready to really see myself and be proud of my beautiful body that I live in and my period that i now greet every month like a faithful friend. So thank you for this beautiful, honest post! Lots of love from Cologne, Germany.

  • Dear Garance,

    I have read your blog for years and this is the most profound piece! I thank you for your honesty and courage. It hit home big time. I can relate to every single sentence and mood swing here.

    My education on the topic started when I found a blood soaked pad of cotton in my sister’s closet I used to raid as a kid. I was around 8-9 years old and I was embarrassed to ask. I knew I stumbled onto something that was kept away from me – I could not let anyone know.

    I don’t remember how exactly my period started – I was 13. I blocked it off from staying in my memory. The only thing I remember is nauseating pain and the most disgusting bitter pain pills that made me drowsy and totally incapable in school. In addition, no such thing as pads or tampons existed in my universe (Soviet Union) and I had to use thick cotton pads which provided zero certainty I would not leak through. Oh the constant phantom embarrassment – I do not miss you one bit!

    When I was around 20, my life has changed forever when I was lucky enough to have the worst tooth ache on the first day of my period. I popped an opioid painkiller, which wiped away both aches. That pill has been a part of my period emergency kit ever since.

    When I was 32, my 7 day long periods shortened into 4 days and 28 clockwork cycles turned into 24 days, which meant more frequent periods – yikes!

    When I was 36, I decided I was ready to have a baby. Having ignored my parents pleas for a grand kid for almost 10 years, I had zero idea getting pregnant was THIS HARD! When you shared your fertility story some time ago, It made me feel so sad. Sad I wasn’t 20-something year old, sad I had to find out through my own experience. You journey, Garance, was not a gentle warning – it was a confirmation, which, though comforting, was not able to turn back time.

    I can only hope all the girls who read your message are able to, if not take it to heart (it’s hard to learn from other people’s experience), but it least store it in their memory as one of the puzzle pieces about what a female body is all about. And one day, hopefully sooner rather than later, this would be the last piece that would click for them into the bigger picture.

    Love,
    Yuli

  • J’en ai les larmes aux yeux. Merci!
    J’explique et réexplique à ma fille mais aussi à mon fils qui n’a que 9 ans, ce que sont les règles pour qu’ils les considèrent comme quelque chose de normal et non de sale ou honteux.
    Merci encore…

  • I loved reading your story. Here’s mine. I got my period on my 13th birthday. As you, I too suffered with crippling menstrual pain. When I was 35 I found out I had endometriosis. Treatment was unsuccessful and I had a hysterectomy at 37. Despite the pain and hemorrhaging, I still missed my periods when they were finally gone. Our relationship with our bodies is a mystical, magical thing. It took me a while to come to terms with infertility. But now I love my body for all it can do; I don’t hate it for what it isn’t. Good luck with your own journey, Garance, and thank you for sharing.

  • Chère Garance,

    C’est magnifique de te lire!!!
    Ce que tu décris reflète exactement la démarche que j’ai fait il y a quelques années. Ça m’a transformée! Depuis, échanger de ces choses avec les femmes qui me consultent pour la fertilité ou des troubles hormonaux en acupuncture est devenu ma plus grande mission. Apprendre à accepter, à aimer et à honorer son corps de femme est non seulement le chemin pour soulager le corps physique, mais aussi la voie pour atteindre cette force redoutable et rayonnante que chaque femme possède. Oui, il est possible de vivre avec ses règles de façons harmonieuse et positive! Et c’est avec cette belle générosité et cette plume fabuleuse que tu inspires tant de filles et de femmes dans cette découverte!
    Un immense merci et bonne continuité à toi,

    xx
    Eliane

  • So many tears as I read this. Thank you. At the age of 30 and my own challenging health journeys, I am finally beginning to make peace with my body too. xoxo.

  • Merci

  • Merci mille fois Garance!
    J’ai 19 ans, je lis ton blog depuis déjà presque 5 ans, et je tiens à te dire que tes textes m’aident toujours à m’accepter un peu plus en tant que (jeune) femme! Que ce soit lorsque le studio et toi faisiez des career interviews alors que j’étais en plein doute quant à quelles études entreprendre, ou lorsque tu avais écrit des textes sur ta prise de poids en déménageant à NY, en même temps que j’étais en plein changements corporels à l’adolescence et que je ne me reconnaissais plus, les textes du blog m’ont toujours beaucoup parlé. J’adore la simplicité et l’honnêteté de votre écriture au studio, la variété des sujets que vous abordez. Les textes plus personnels sont mes préférés parce qu’ils me font rire, réfléchir, m’émeuvent par leur authenticité. Même si je ne suis pas forcément dans les mêmes étapes de vie que vous, j’adore l’esprit de sororité qui règne dans vos articles. Vous êtes des sortes de modèles pour moi, vraies et conscientes d’être imparfaites, et qu’est-ce que ça fait du bien en comparaison aux « role models » qui sont mis en avant aujourd’hui! Bon, je m’étale un peu, mais pour en revenir à l’article, je me souviens totalement d’avoir voulu me cacher pendant l’adolescence parce que je n’aimais pas les réactions que mon corps pouvait susciter. Je commence enfin à assumer mes formes, ma féminité, et j’ai aussi remarqué que c’est lorsque je me traite avec plus de douceur et de bienveillance que j’ai moins de douleur pendant mes règles! Je suis en pleines études de médecine, et mieux comprendre l’importance des règles m’a permis de les respecter et de presque les chérir… ! Bon, je n’en suis peut être pas tout à fait encore là mais ton texte a vraiment résonné avec mon vécu et je te suis très reconnaissante d’aborder ces sujets dont on ne parle pas assez souvent ;)
    Gros bisous de Suisse

  • Elisângela February, 13 2018, 4:12 / Reply

    What an amazing post, Garance!
    On behalf of my then 10 year old self (now 30), thank you!

  • Oh BTW girls Bollywood has a movie called ‘Padman’ out. Check it out and let’s talk about awareness and giving girls access and choice all around the globe!??????Keep up these conversations!

  • Bravo.
    & merci , pour moi, mes sœurs, mes filles, et toutes les autres !

  • Oh, Garance. How beautiful. Add me to the long list of women who suffer from endometriosis and have had to navigate a difficult relationship with our periods and our fertility.

  • Garance, thank you so much for your honesty. I feel like you speak for many women who have gone through this. I have endometriosis and didn’t realize that my extreme pain was not normal until my 30’s. I then did IVF a couple of times to have my first child. Now that I have a daughter, I hope I can explain and guide her through the world with the wisdom and gentleness you possess.

  • Love this! Wish I could have read it back in middle school.

  • Très bel article ! Merci

  • Merci.

  • Djoeke Knotter February, 14 2018, 3:38 / Reply

    Chère Garance,

    Merci.
    Thank you, for this piece of sincere & heartfelt life-art. It illustrates so beautiful how life becomes really lighter and easier once we start to move with her flow… I think that this is also reflecting the feminine principle of receiving, allowing, accepting (within the safe boundaries of love & care for ourselves). I think we can really change the world by applying more softness and patience with ourselves, as we can inspire other (wo)men and the children around us and also opening up a more free dialogue about these topics for upgrowing (wo)men, because we all were once at that stage too, with all these feelings in a changing body. Thank you for your life and sharing your heart with us.

    Bisous, Djoeke

  • Quel bel article ! J’aimerais pouvoir penser à le montrer à mes filles quand elles auront l’âge. J’ai le temps mais 11 ans ! Merde c’est Jeune. Bisouxxxxx

  • God Almighty, what a lot of self-pitying nonsense. Your periods, your sugar allergy. What a drama. I miss the days of learning to walk in heels and having a laugh. Lighten up, for goodness sake. Some women on this earth have real problems.

  • Everyone is aware that there’s graver problems beyond menstrual cycles. There’s a world of topics to write about (ie Coming of Age) between high heels and devastating issues.

  • C’est la première fois que j’ai écrit un commentaire sur un blog, mais face à ce texte qui me bouleverse le coeur et juste au dessus de la ceinture, je ne pouvais me taire…Bravo d’avoir su poser sur le papier nos mots à toutes et Merci de nous rappeler qu’il est extraordinaire d’être une femme.

  • Rachel Joy February, 14 2018, 5:57 / Reply

    So beautiful x

  • Beautiful writing

  • Yes!!!!!! I can relate to so much of what you wrote. In my early 40’s and finally connected to the power and beauty of my cycle. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Je sens la femme sauvage de Clarissa entre ces lignes, cette sagesse collective si précieuse. Encore un très beau texte, c’est pour ça qu’après 10 ans je continue de lire vos mots. J’ai l’impression de grandir, de changer, de paniquer et puis je vous lis et c’est comme un miroir, une main qui tient la mienne pour me montrer que je ne suis pas seule.
    Merci pour cette générosité et cette sincérité.
    Adèle, 27 ans dont 10 en votre compagnie.
    Love.

  • Lovely. You expressed it so well.

  • C’est comme si tu avais décrit ma vie ..!
    Emue aux larmes !
    Merci ma bloggeuse préférée

  • C’est comme que si tu avais décrit ma vie dans cette chronique ..!
    Emue aux larmes !
    Merci ma bloggeuse préférée

  • Merci.

  • Savine Leclercq February, 14 2018, 11:20 / Reply

    Merci Garance de continuer à écrire tes billets: ce sont des petites perles que j’adore lire depuis 11ans!! Keep going tu es génialissime!!

  • Waow, je suis restée scotchée par ce récit. On doit être pourtant nombreuses à s’y reconnaître, on est beaucoup à avoir vécu ce rapport haine/amour avec notre corps, mais c’est aussi l’honnêteté et la franchise avec laquelle c’est raconté qui m’ont touchée.
    Merci pour avoir partagé avec nous ce moment de vie.

  • I went through the same pain for years, taking for granted and assuming that it was normal period pain, like every woman , some luckier , some less. Then After 20 years of pain, I was diagnosed with endometriosys. Got surgery, and for the first time I understood that that pain was NOT normal at all! But I believe that in a way it was not just that. I hated my body, I hated my period. I hated feeling de-powered, I saw no bonus or asset in that annoying, disgusting, debilitating thing happening monthly. I was always conjuring and wishing for possible medical discovery that could enable to make it last just a few hours, or a single day, instead of seven. I felt robbed those days, a robbery of time and energy concocted by nature to weaken womanhood.
    I cant say, not that I am forty that I’ve really signed a peace treaty with my body, mayebe a truce. I am on Esmya also to reduce a fibroma that will eventually have to be surgically removed. Now I have my period every 3 months, it is an acceptable compromise to me. But the thing is that I have never wanted children. My refusal started at a very young age, and stuck with me through the years. I am lucky enough to have met a man who doesn’t want them either. But I don’t know if I’m gonna regret my decision eventually. Hope to be objective enough to admit that it is just not for me. And thanks, Garance, for writing this. Maybe I can forgive my body too, now.

  • Mariateresa February, 14 2018, 1:07 / Reply

    Sei grandiosa Garance!!!!E’ proprio ainsi, come hai scritto, brava!!!

  • Castellani February, 14 2018, 1:45 / Reply

    Merci pour ce texte.
    Bises

  • Merci !!!

  • Speaking of setting a positive example, do you guys know of healthy self image larger chest role role models? The fashion world (and this site) always glamourize flat chests. The message that sends is that boobs are a flaw. I’d love to see an example of boobs celebrated and acknowledged.

  • Lara Stone! Granted, she is still a model (so v thin in my opinion), but her boobs are definitely treated as assets rather than a flaw.

  • Thank you so much for your sincerity, Garance! You basically described my whole life! Bises

  • Fabuleuse Garance

  • And that’s why you are the only blogger I keep coming back to . After all these years you still move me, thanks for writing this. I’m the same age as you and not until now with the help of apps like natural cycles have I started to really understand what it means to be a woman and live according to the monthly cycle’s needs. . I’ve learnt like you to let myself me be more inwards looking during the days it needs it etc amazing how it’s taken so long for me, my friends and sisters to really listen to our bodies

  • thank you for spreading the word, this experience is so close to my own! my first period came at 10, i remember having to sit out at recess because of cramps, it was AWFUL. menstrual pain is the most intense pain i’ve ever felt, and if i didn’t gobble advil at the first hint of a cramp i was screwed. only in the past few years have i really started embracing my cycle, and that’s exactly when the cramps stopped. i just take a cramp bark tincture and use a hot water bottle if i feel some slight aching, and i listen to my body and chill out. the mind/body connection is so powerful! mindset is everything.

  • Anonymous February, 15 2018, 2:07 / Reply

    I’ve only had a problem with PMS and period pain when I’ve been involved with men who tried diminishing me based on being female. I’ve learned a lot from that.

  • This is beautiful Garance, thank you so much. Grazie di cuore.

  • this text should be in elementary school textbooks!

  • Merci, Garance pour ce texte de réconciliation avec soit-même ! (Que vous avez écrit pendant vos règles ?? :D)

  • “Periods don’t define feminity” according to ….37 million US menopaused WOMEN. ;)

  • I got shivers! I too was eleven when I got my first period and I always looked older than I was – it’s something everyone just assumed was fun (because I could get in any party I wanted) but actually robed me the time to understand I was growing, so I pretended to grow.

    I would have loved to have read something like this back then, but I’m so glad I can read it now.

    It hit me a few years ago how powerful the cycle is, I was spending most of my days alone and began to realize the patterns and swings. I’m pretty sure that all humanity is build to make us forget how frail we all are, but women have no choice but to remember we bleed, we bleed every month. It’s beautiful and scary.

    So, thank you, Garance. I’m so glad you exist

  • Merci encore une fois Garance pour un texte si sublime. Ne jamais avoir honte d’être une femme. Ne pas avoir honte d’avoir ses règles, ni ensuite de ne plus les avoir.

  • Chère Garance,
    Quand le jour viendra ou tu auras a une petite fille, tu lui féliciteras de l’arrivée de ses règles. Tu lui expliqueras que tel est la nature de l’existence, et qu’elle aura le bonheur de vivre le miracle de pouvoir faire un enfant. Pour les inconvénients, qu’elle assume pour le mieux et “move on” comme disent si bien les Américains. Tu lui montreras comment se dorloter pendant ces moments, et d’envoyer son {middle finger} aux mecs qui sont trop cons pour comprendre. Bien a toi, T.

  • Toutes les fillettes du monde devraient lire ce temoignage. Merci de le partager avec nous.

  • Beau texte, merci Garance! Pour ma part pas de règles ou presque depuis toujours. Je fais mon 2e cycle de FIV, je comprends très bien ce que tu dis sur ton vécu avec les injections, stéroïdes etc, j’ai des doses quotidiennes conséquentes depuis 1 an. Mais il ne faudrait pas non plus diaboliser la FIV. Il me semble que c’est une chance immense que ca existe et de pouvoir en bénéficier. De très nombreux couple, comme le mien, n’ont que cette possibilité. Je suis désolée que tes médecins n’aient pas été assez humains, et comprends parfaitement ton choix. Mais juste vu ton influence, attention au fait que tous les médecins ne sont pas comme ça, et que le traitement, même s’il est envahissant et souvent pénible, n’est pas forcément traumatisant, ni dangereux, ni à déconseiller pour ceux qui en ont besoin. Courage ladies! Bien à toi

  • Merci pour tes mots, ceux aujourd’hui et les autres <3
    Dans ma prochaine vie j'aimerais bien que tu sois ma grande soeur !

  • Thank you for sharing this, G. It’s truly wonderful! Your writing about starting to get noticed by the opposite sex, and the cruelty young women often experience in middle school, it really brought me back. I remember exactly those feelings of incompetence, insecurity, and the fear of getting my period in the middle of a school day…

    I hope that if I have a daughter one day, she won’t live in a world where she has to hide her pads in the depths of her backpack in shame.

  • Many thanks Garance! I can totally totally relate, each and every step. I think that this is also the right way forward for us as women, to realize that it in us to reach all our potential, to make peace with our bodies, mind and emotions, to see all the beauty and power that lie in us and leave a wiser perspective for next generations!

  • Emmalouette February, 15 2018, 3:58 / Reply

    Merci Garance pour ce texte si personnel et si universel. Merci pour lever ce tabou sur les regles et porter aussi haut les valeurs feministes avec autant de talent et de sincérité.
    Preuve que l’on peut conjuguer à merveille légèreté et reflexion.

  • wow. Merci <3

  • Laila Ghazal February, 15 2018, 9:01 / Reply

    Conscience

  • Your point of view shows the country you live, the Western world. Then it also shows how spoiled you are, if all women start taking a break each month, then no wonder they make less money than men.!!!
    If you were pregnant I can imagine how you would be living and talking about all the changes your body goes by ;))
    This is how nature is, and most women outside of your so American world ( yes I know you are from Corsica becoming such a LA body freak).. live their period, pregnancy,… without the luxury to overthink it. As for birth control, the pill helped so many women who got pregnant too early and far too many times! You have no right to raise its side effects when it has and still do save so many lives.
    Think twice before writing from your pink couch in Venice. There is a vast world outside, and not so far either !

    Sorry I had to say it , after reading your « cute » story .
    G

  • A rude comment, in my opinion. She can only write from her own experience. She speaks for herself, you speak for yourself. It seems you’re putting her down for being herself- don’t read this blog if you don’t like her!

  • You didn’t “have” to say what you did – a threatened part of you wanted to punish and insult. Garance was speaking about a journey; about gradually getting more in touch with her instincts, her body’s messages, her feminine inner knowing. Your response is more of the old diatribe, defending keeping women clueless without inquiring deeper. There is an arc to all of this – you/we are all in the same universe, just occupying different degrees of inquiry on the map. Let’s celebrate waking up with compassion for each other. Thank you ~

  • Thank you. I feel relieved and empowered at the same time.
    I deal with endometriosis since many years and only have a few days a month without pain, exhaustion or mood swings. It’s hell and I get anxious knowing she’s coming back each month because it’s going to be bad. Tried all kinds of therapy, herbs, surgery, shamanic sessions and more. Like you say, there are messages sent to us and we shall listen to them. Periods aren’t well tolerated in our society at all. We have to hide it, like a dirty shameful thing.
    I am shocked by the amount of gynecologists suggesting to take uterus or ovaries out when none of their cure works against endometriosis . When you have a headache, the doctor doesn’t suggest to cut your head of right?
    It’s a fight on your own. On the other hand, the endometriosis has been one of my biggest teachers. Thank you again for having the courage to talk about the period, considered sacred in ancient cultures.

  • Nathalie Allègre February, 17 2018, 4:30 / Reply

    Chère Garance, tellement vrai tout cela, tellement sincère et tendre. Je le partage avec mes filles, Louise 21 ans et Juliette 18 ans.
    Même si la vie ne vous a pas apporté d’enfant, vous touchez ceux de celles qui vous lisent et vous aiment pour votre sincérité. Votre transmission est précieuse et réelle.
    Merci

  • Camille Reddress February, 17 2018, 2:25 / Reply

    Thank you once again for using this platform to honestly share things from your life which hardly anyone speaks about publicly . this is the way I have felt before. I hope my little girl can grow up in a world where women and girls are not defined by what their bodies do. this is a brilliant piece. It’s personal and radically feminist . I hope these pieces will go together to make a new book of yours when the time comes .

  • Dear Garance, Thank you for this gift, for sharing your personal story in such a heartfelt and touching way. I can’t explain to you how comforting this is for me to read, as each month I grow more isolated and beaten with the ups and downs of my menstrual cycle. I too am in my forties (turning 44 this year) and have suffered from huge weekly hormone fluctuations, ‘severe dysmenorhhea’, and PMDD since I was 12. Ten years ago I also went off the pill (Yasmin) because I too, did not feel like my ‘real’ self. Since then, each month, to the day, my cycle has virtually been dictating my life. I’ve tried other pills (Yaz, Diane), bio-identical hormones, daily charts, vitamin cocktails, acupuncture, and now HRT and even now, 6-7 days of each month I feel like I am literally going out of my mind. Mood fluctuations ranging from anxiety, frustration, despair, anger and then suddenly … absolute relief, happiness, even elation. It’s not only a living nightmare for everyone around me, it’s exhausting and heart-breaking for me. My only ally is my mother, who empathises with each and every symptom, as she too experienced a similar pattern. I look at my little sister in fear and hope that in no way does she experience a fraction of what we go through, and continue to try to cope with. I have an almost unwritten language of how to deal with it with my mother now ~ one look and she knows if I need estrogen or progesterone, as well as daily counseling on the days when I just can’t face walking back into the office to face everyone anymore. Days later I’m fine, happy infact. Really? I understand my body is working harder and harder to produce a follicle each month, and that after 3 rounds of egg harvesting and only 2 eggs later, a child may never be on my horizon either. Needless to say, the mood swings have made it near impossible to have a relationship. So, your story has helped me to sit with and understand my grief a little better, and to start trying to understand why my body is the way it is. Thank you so much for your gift of sharing, it’s a luxury to not feel so alone in this experience of being an ever evolving girl-woman.

  • Dear Garance,

    Thank you for this gift, for sharing your personal story in such a heartfelt and touching way. I can’t explain to you how comforting this is for me to read, as each month I grow more isolated and beaten with the ups and downs of my menstrual cycle.

    I too am in my forties (turning 44 this year) and have suffered from huge weekly hormone fluctuations, ‘severe dysmenorhhea’, and PMDD since I was 12. Ten years ago I also went off the pill (Yasmin) because I too, did not feel like my ‘real’ self.

    Since then, each month, to the day, my cycle has virtually been dictating my life. I’ve tried other pills (Yaz, Diane), bio-identical hormones, daily charts, vitamin cocktails, acupuncture, and now HRT and even now, 6-7 days of each month I feel like I am literally going out of my mind.

    Mood fluctuations ranging from anxiety, frustration, despair, anger and then suddenly … absolute relief, happiness, even elation. It’s not only a living nightmare for everyone around me, it’s exhausting and heart-breaking for me.

    My only ally is my mother, who empathises with each and every symptom, as she too experienced a similar pattern. I look at my little sister in fear and hope that in no way does she experience a fraction of what we go through, and continue to try to cope with.

    We have an almost unwritten language of how to deal with it ~ one look and my mother knows if I need estrogen or progesterone, as well as daily counseling on the days when I just can’t face walking back into the office to face everyone anymore. Days later I’m fine, happy infact. Really?

    I feel my body working harder and harder to produce a follicle each month, and that after 3 rounds of egg harvesting and only 2 eggs later, a child may never be on my horizon either. Needless to say, the mood swings have made it near impossible to have a relationship.

    So, your story has helped me to sit with and understand my grief a little better, and to start trying to understand why my body is the way it is. Thank you so much for your gift of sharing, it’s a luxury to not feel so alone in this experience of being an ever evolving girl-woman.

  • anastasia February, 18 2018, 6:40 / Reply

    This was beautiful, thank you!

  • I love your post. I too in recent years have come to a place where I experience no pain or mood swings whatsoever when I have my period. I often get a feeling that I should check to see if I have pads/tampons at home however the day before my friend arrives. I really appreciate having my cycle every month. I appreciate being female and I no longer feel any desire or pressure to conform to other people’s expectations of me. I am a female human and I feel as powerful, complex and sometimes contradictory as anyone else. I eventually learned to love and appreciate myself as I actually am. To my mind my peaceful periods reflect this inner peace. ?

  • This was simply amazing! Every young girl should read this in an effort to respect her body. The body is amazing and it takes us all way too long to realize it. Thank you!

  • So true
    Thank you!

  • beautifully written and so wonderfully honest!

    I actually thought we, women, are waaaay past this “fighting my period” stage – but you reminded me that we are not.
    that many are not .
    that even feminism for too long has been all about proving “I can do it even if I have my period”.

    I am a bit younger than you and for past 15 years I havent been fighting my period or my body the way I did when I was a teenager…. not even my male coworkers – I was fortunate to work with wonderful understanding men …. unfortunately the only people I needed to fight were my female coworkers who would ridicule my need to be by myslef and to go inward during “that period of the month”. they considered it “anti – feminist” and they were on a mission to prove that “we can do it” all month round the very same way as man do it. whatever “it” means and is …

    I am glad to see that feminism is finally becoming less of a patriarchal product and that love letters to our period are becoming main stream and omni present in social and other media.

    It is also so very adorable how you are, what would a late bloomer (I am too ) … you started your career later in life, you discovered many things about yourself later in life …. I am sure even baby will come to you later in life too . just when it should!!! IF it should. but even without a baby – you are a OK, exactly how and who and where you should be.

    Neomamism in social and other media is yet another trendy quasi feminist (yet unfortunately deeply patriarchal) hype – and sometimes women (and men) believe the hype when deep down the truth is that maybe just maybe they don’t even want or need to become parents … because parenthood is not just a pretty instagram photos of you perfect little one … in changes your life, it can go very wrong on so many levels … and if you are not ready to give your life to another person (because yes super healthy babies need it but also there are children born with very special need ) – then maybe you dont want to /need to /have to become a parent …. at least not now …. and definitely not necessarily parent “to your own blood” …
    if you however really truly want a baby and that you see it as the No purpose in life – your period or your age are not necessarily related to it … you can always adopt!

    never believe in hype even when it goes under quasi feminist banner …. tune in to your own feminine natural wisdom … that is what feminism is ultimately all about

    many blessings to wonderful you!

    p.s. I read a article in a magazine about women who regret decision (or not so conscious decision ) of becoming a mother … the shame, guilt and blame they need to endure because the society does not want to hear it … our society still regards motherhood “the purpose of being a woman” … but there are many kinds of mothering … anyway, this is yet another taboo that needs to be address in social and other media

  • Just as I finished your article, it gave me shivers.
    My mind was like “… okay, Garance always nails it,”
    and then my body just shivered for a little while.
    Really vibrated for 20 seconds. What WAS that?

    It’s amazing how easy it is to ignore the body.
    Thanks for making me pay a little more,
    and maybe better, attention.

  • Rita Loiola February, 18 2018, 5:08 / Reply

    Merci bcp <3

  • I cried reading this. So much of what you’ve said has resonated with me like an earthquake. Thank you isn’t enough and yet I don’t have any other words. I’m giving you a huge, long hug right now… Sending love and light…

  • Hello Garance,
    I don’t remember how I stumbled on your blog few months back but each of your post is always so intense all over the spectrum of emotions. I know that I was looking for a drawing for my partner Simone as there is a coming anniversary…but as I was browsing your site and reading many posts I felt a strange connection. French origins of course, NYC too where I lived for 17y, then somehow read how close you are to Richard C for whom my ex wife worked for at Chandelier, then she was at Sakara…and moving forward you are now in Venice CA, where we moved from NYC 3y ago. Just strange. And today reading your words, I felt that I had to post a comment for the first time.
    My current partner (nutritionist and quite a healthy person) also like many women had debilitating menstrual pain, just pads, IUIs, IVF (while in NYC)…we meet and change our life and lifestyle. Here we come Venice. Almost 3y later, a baby girl Emmanuelle 14 months and another girl Solene to join us in June. Why I say that? Maybe because of this weird connection, and because I am the father of -almost- 2 girls and what you write touches me. So In Venice we stumbled upon Human Garage on Washington. Their help and the new good habits we developed moving here we think played a role in having two natural births. Maybe -and this is my wish- it could help you and Chris.

  • Ce texte m’émeut comme peu d’articles sur ce site jusqu’ici. Merci !
    J’ai eu mes règles à 10 ans, puis le même genre d’expériences (en changeant pêcheurs du village par gamins du village). A mon entrée en 6e j’avais le corps d’une femme. Quelle poisse.
    Il y a deux ans, en plus des douleurs, des seins gonflés etc, j’ai commencé à vomir et à perdre connaissance chaque mois. Je ne pouvais plus sortir de la maison ou être seule en début de cycle. J’ai déclaré la guerre à la douleur. J’ai fait tout plein de tests, subi les gynécos aux remarques parfois insupportables, la pilule ( effets secondaires graves). Je teste l’homéopathie depuis quelques mois, et si j’ai toujours des crampes, tous les autres symptômes ont disparu. Je ressens moins d’appréhension à l’arrivée de mes règles, et même la douleur est presque “apaisante”.

    J’ai aussi vécu entre deux cultures, et dans mon pays arabe, les femmes pouvaient prendre un jour de congé non-justifié par mois -c’est peut-être encore le cas dans les petits commerces qui n’ont pas vu la nécessité de s’aligner sur les pays occidentaux. Lorsqu’elles avaient leurs règles pour la première fois, certaines de mes amies avaient droit à une véritable fête à la maison. Elles montraient ensuite les photos avec un mélange de honte et de fierté. Je regrette que ce genre d’habitudes soit en train de se perdre.

    Et merci de rappeler que si les hormones peuvent nous mettre dans des états pas possibles, ça vaut parfois la peine d’écouter ce qu’il y a derrière. “c’est les hormones” permet de se cacher derrière un discours médical pour éviter certaines responsabilités. Sans vouloir nier leurs effets, bien sûr, mais quand des amies me disent que 2 semaines par mois elles ont envie de divorcer “à cause des hormones” ou qu’elles sont en colère pendant 12 jours “à cause des hormones”, j’ai tendance à penser que le problème n’est pas tant les hormones que ce qu’elles révèlent.

  • Josette Kouyomjian February, 19 2018, 3:14 / Reply

    Fantastic and honest. Thank you for writing.

  • Merci Garance! I will tuck this beautiful text away in a special spot and save it to read to my daughter when the time is right.

  • So f*cking true!!! Yesterday I made mountains out of molehills! My bf’s friends came late and cried over the night because I felt unsecure! I could not understand why It’s so emotionally painful, but this article make everything at places.
    Thank you dear sister!

  • Pourtant une fan de longue date, je passe complètement à coté de ce post, qui a l’air pourtant d’avoir touché beaucoup.. pas un drame d’avoir mal au bide et le moral plus triste une fois par mois? encore faut il le savoir maybe

  • Heather Woods February, 19 2018, 8:39 / Reply

    Thank you for using your public space to shed some light on what for most of us has been a secret struggle. We have come a long way in the fight for women’s right in many places, but still have a long way to go in treat ourselves with understanding and respect.

  • Merci Garance, merci !
    Ce texte est très important à mon sens pour plusieurs raisons. D’abord il me touche personnellement car j’ai une histoire très dure avec mes règles qui m’ont si souvent fait vivre l’enfer (mention spéciale à la fois où j’ai fini assise par terre en boule dans les toilettes du métro parisien…).
    Mais bien plus largement, ce texte est important car il montre l’intégration complète entre le travail dans le système capitaliste et la domination des femmes.
    Le monde du travail dans ce système est en totale défaveur des femmes, qui ne peuvent concilier leur vie avec le travail salarié qu’au mépris de leur mode de fonctionnement “naturel” (je mets des guillemets car il s’agit bien sûr d’une réalité statistique, pas individuelle).
    Je suis assez agacée par les discours qui se disent féministes en assénant que les femmes peuvent tout faire, tout concilier, être PDG de Facebook et avoir trois enfants sans se détruire la santé physique ou psychique. Non ! Pour moi, un féminisme qui défendrait vraiment les femmes serait revendicateur et demanderait que le monde du travail s’adapte à cette réalité que tu décris.
    Le système capitaliste adore humilier les femmes pour leur faire croire qu’elle sont inaptes à être productives et à contribuer à la construction collective du monde, tout en leur faisant miroiter le bonheur par la consommation.
    C’est pour moi le combat fondamental du féminisme dans les pays occidentaux : les femmes doivent conquérir le monde du travail collectif non pas en se pliant avec douleur à des règles inventées par des hommes mais en exigeant que ces règles soient changées.

  • Well, the issue is, breasts and periods don’t define feminity, to the extent that feminity is a social construct…

  • Cela faisait longtemps que je n’avais plus laissé de commentaire… ce texte m’a touché, m’a remémoré des souvenirs enfouis, m’a mis les larmes aux yeux. Merci d’avoir, encore une fois, partagé ces pensées si personnelles et pourtant si universelles (ou presque). Je reste convaincue que c’est dans ce partage que nous pourrons trouver notre force.
    Belle journée à toi Garance, et à toutes les femmes qui passent par ici!

  • Beautifully written from the heart as all your writing is. These are definitely things all girls and women experience but without necessarily coming to that place of understanding and acceptance. The only thing I would add is for the need that all boys/men must learn and understand these things too.

  • Ohhh my, the tears running down my cheeks! This piece is beautiful, and how I wish I’d had it to read when I was a girl/teen/20-something!! I’ve pinned it for safekeeping and will be sharing with my daughter when the time comes. <3 Hugs to you!

  • Annika Tibando February, 23 2018, 9:46 / Reply

    beautiful and perfectly said!

  • Comme toi, quand je prenais la pilule, je ne me sentais pas “vraie”. J’avais l’impression que mon esprit et mon corps n’étaient plus liés comme avant, qu’il y avait un dysfonctionnement. Par exemple, j’étais rapidement émue par des choses qui ne m’auraient pas touchées auparavant, je le réalisais et me demandais “pourquoi est-ce-que ça m’a rendu triste ?”, et vraiment je ne comprenais pas. C’était très étrange comme sensation d’avoir un corps qui réagissait comme indépendamment de moi, de qui j’étais à l’intérieur… J’ai mis un peu de temps à comprendre d’où ça venait, j’ai testé plusieurs types de pilules, puis j’ai arrêté. Le retour à la normale n’a pas été instantané, mais petit à petit, le temps que mon corps reprenne ses bonnes habitudes (naturelles), je suis redevenue moi. :)
    Merci pour ce partage, il y a trop de non-dits sur les règles et tout ce qui y est lié. Je pense que le fait que les langues se délient progressivement fait du bien à beaucoup de personnes.

  • Rolala c’est tellement vrai… J’aime beaucoup quand tu dis que les règles sont des sources de créativité. Et écouter son corps donne tellement de force, même si c’est parfois très douloureux, on est fière d’avoir encore une fois traversé cette periode. Pour moi c’est un moment de netoyage, physique et psycologique, je les attend parfois parce que je sais que ça va me faire du bien et que je vais en ressortir encore mieux.
    Je me dis qu’on a de la chance, d’avoir ce rythme, c’est tellement fou la complexité du corps de la femme, complexité étonnante et un mystère total. Et en parler et se sentir comprise, ou lire des texte come le tiens nous rapproche, nous les femme, et je trouve ça génial !!
    J’aurai encore des tonne de chose à dire mais on le sait toute alors je ne vais pas m’étalée. On se comprend :)

    Merci encore pour ce beau post! Je lis le blog depuis le début, et même si moins fréquement maintenant j’ai toujours plaisir à voir des articles comme celui-ci :)

  • Delphine March, 8 2018, 8:16 / Reply

    Salut Garance,

    Je croise les doigts pour que très bientôt l’Univers attire à toi ce dont tu rêves tant; un enfant. Je pense que tu es sur la bonne voie car tu sembles avoir trouvé la paix intérieur et que tu profites du moment présent et de ce que tu as déjà. Tu prends plus confiance et conscience de ton corps et de ton esprit. Ce sera la cerise sur le gâteau, mais tu sais que ton gâteau est déjà très bon ainsi.

    Tu sembles avoir pris du recul sur ta vie et les choses essentielles (arrêter les défilés, toi?? Fallait le faire!) Et maintenant tu partages tes expériences et continues d’inspirer plein de femmes… Mais surtout tu as un amoureux-futur mari formidable qui ne te voit pas comme un “poule pondeuse” (horrible terme, hein?!), qui apprécie le gâteau de votre vie actuelle. Alors laissez l’Univers vous surprendre…

    … je t’envoie plein de bonnes ondes et te félicites dans tous les cas!

  • Je n’ai pas le même vécu de cette honte, de ce traumatisme, lié à l’arrivée des règles et à ce corps de femme, sans doute pour un tas de raison, mais je peux imaginer je pense.
    La douleur, elle, je la connais et ce n’est que depuis peu, mes 30 ans peut être, que j’ai commencé à envisager l’idée de m’ajuster comme tu le dis, à cette douleur, à ces cycles. Moi aussi j’ai appris à aimer ces moments parce qu’il me donne une bonne raison de me recentrer, de rester dans mon cocon et faire le point.
    “Lune rouge” de Miranda Gray est parait-il un livre très intéressant sur la manière d’aborder et créer notre vie en fonction des cycles féminins.
    En faisant des règles une honte, c’est notre corps et notre essence même que nous rejetons. Et ça commence par nous, arrêter de se cacher quand on a mal, ne jamais dire le mot, dire qu’on a mal “au ventre”-ça passe mieux- alors que c’est notre utérus qui est en feu et pas du tout notre ventre !
    Je finis la lecture de ce billet les larmes aux yeux, c’est si juste, quand aux dernières lignes de ce texte, elles sont magnifiques, ce message aux jeunes filles, aux filles de 11 ans.
    Merci pour elles, pour nous.

  • Je suis tellement émue en lisant ce post! Tu as tellement raison, on a tellement eu honte de ce moment du mois qu’il faut que ça cesse! Tant pis si on est invivable en PMS et tant pis si on est claquée pendant les règles, c’est la vie, c’est la nature. Merci pour tant de sincérité et d’empathie pour notre nature profonde. Vive les règles et la chance que nous avons de vivre ce petit miracle chaque mois! C’est clairement un post que je vais partager autour de moi.

  • Meredith April, 9 2018, 9:29 / Reply

    Magnifique texte, très inspirant. Merci pour ce témoignage si vrai et si juste. Il me touche beaucoup!

  • Merci Garance pour ces mots que j’ai partagé avec ma petite soeur <3

    Et dire que ma meilleure amie et moi avions l'habitude de jouer "à être grandes" quand nous avions 8-10 ans. Ceci se traduisait souvent par l'utilisation de talons de ma mère, la blouse médicale de mon père et le port de serviettes hygiéniques (alors que nous n'en avions pas encore besoin).

    Je pense que cela m'a, en quelque sorte, aidé à ne pas me sentir (autant) deconcertée quand les règles sont arrivées pour la première fois.

    Il y a peut être un aspect culturel qui expliquerait cette relation avec les règles (?). En Amérique Latine, la plupart de filles apprenons à attendre avec impatience l'arrivée de nos 15ans, l'âge à laquelle nous partageons au cours d'une fête le fait que nous "devenions des femmes", quand bien même nous ignorions ce que cela veut dire.

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