I like communicating on this blog the same way I talk with my friends. That’s one of the main reasons I started it.
I’m neither Vogue nor Martha Stewart, certainly not a role model, or some example to live up to, even though sometimes I’m expected to fill that role. It’s normal, I suppose, and comes with the territory when you have a voice*.
What I like is showing you what I see, without too much embellishment (though I do like pretty photos) and without being super dramatic (even if that means I don’t tell you about all my break downs).
That said, I’m sometimes surprised by the reactions I get from certain subjects.
One day, I put up a video where I was having lunch with some friends during fashion week.
At some moment, a giant piece of dessert materialized on the table and we started joking around about how maybe we should not eat it, especially because it wasn’t really the moment to do it, with it being fashion week and all and everyone wanting to fit their clothes.
That kind of thing comes up all the time when girls are out to lunch, right? I mean, honestly.
And yet, in the comments, a lot of you didn’t see it that way… :
“How could you give that kind of image of femininity? How dare you show women depriving themselves!” Etc…
The thing is… That’s exactly what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to talk about femininity, exactly how it is in life.
I want to show it exactly as it is between friends, not that weird distorted version that I see in certain media outlets.
Because for every friend who can eat whatever she wants and still stay thin**, 10 of us have to pay a little more attention to our eating habits (like me)(and I’m not talking about being anorexic or anything, but just using moderation and maybe not eating a giant piece of carrot cake after a big lunch. It’s no small task.). And lying about the subject, now that I have a problem with.
What I don’t like is that the politically correct talk now is a thin girl saying how she looooves eating burgers all the time.
It’s just not true.
In general, if someone gobbles up burgers and carrot cakes, she gains weight***. I think we can all agree on that.
If the girls on Sex and the City (Since we were talking about it the other day)(and I’ll say it again: I love that show) or Bridesmaids, or any other movie/TV show/magazine REALLY spent their time eating like they did on the screen, they’d look more like Lena Dunham than Carrie Bradshaw.
Ah yeah, a big thank you to Lena for putting things in perspective on Girls.
Because by the way, you can’t write one story a week for a newspaper and afford to buy a pair of Manolos every day, or even month. Sorry, Carrie.
That’s how it goes in the movies, but not with real women.
And that’s what gets me. It’s easy to have an actress eat like a teenager on the screen (Wahooo. She eats! She’s just like me! I totally identify with her! I feel goooood!) but then keep on showing her rocking her hot body (Wahoooeeeeergh, she never gains weight! But why is it that when I eat cupcakes all the time, like her, my jeans don’t fit any more? I must have a problem then, right? Am I ugly?). It’s easy to forget that what we’re shown is so often a fairy tale.
And we think that’s the right way to talk about femininity.
And we’ve integrated this discourse so much that showing things differently puts us against each other.
What I like to show are the real women around me who aren’t trying to make others believe they live in some magic world where they only eat burgers, never work out, and by the way also wear two million dollar outfits as if they were falling from the skies****.
That’s one thing that has gotten me tired of certain magazines.
And I think it’s unfortunate that little by little the tone on blogs, which used to be so different, is slowly being replaced by the one we already knew so well, where fashion and the people who make it are so distant, so perfect, and so inaccessible.
The crazy thing is that we’re the ones imposing this discourse on ourselves. It’s what we always knew and therefore so easy to fall back into…
So to recap here, outside of a few girls spoiled by nature / spoiled by very very rich parents / girls that are ok to do whatever to be famous, the rest of us have to:
- Eat healthy and workout to stay thin, if being thin is what you want*.
- Work to be able to afford a nice wardrobe.
- Work super hard to pay for daily Manolos**
- Create something special to become famous***
That’s what I want to show on my blog. Real women, comfortable in their skin, who take care of themselves, work hard for the life they’re dreaming of, whatever background they come from.
Not impossible models of femininity.
I’m much more passionate about that than fairy tales. What about you?
* Definitely, in regards to Miley Cyrus, expectations are slightly different.
** They exist and to them I say: JEALOUSSSS
*** Unless she’s no more than 15 years old, like the super thin models at fashion shows. But that’s another subject entirely.
**** French expression. That said for some, the clothes literally fall from the sky (how cool for them!!!) but they’re in the minority – okay, a VERY visible minority.
* If being thin is what you want, which doesn’t have to be the case, as you can be happy and beautiful and curvy– a much bigger subject I can give you my point of view about next time, if you’d like.
** And very rarely will she be some jet setter, going from one party to another, like certain magazines would have us believe, unless of course, it’s her job, like a PR or something.